Do something about it.

So a couple of weeks ago I had several people come up and blatantly tell me that they think I should go through the book of Joshua.

Not like, 1 or 2 people. Like 4 actual humans that I know and then 3 sermons from 3 different pastors in 2 different states. Then like 2 dreams. It was flippin' weird.

So, with numbers like that I decided to start going through Joshua. Now, this may not sound like a big deal to you but If you have learned anything about me through this blog it's probably that I don't like reading the old testament. Like, at all. I don't understand it, I don't relate to it hardly ever and not to mention it's kinda graphic. The first time I read it on my own I happen to pick up right where some crazy lady wiped her sons foreskin on a dudes feet. The next time wasn't much better. It involved poop, a belly button and an overall poor representation of how the human body's digestive system works.

That's a rocky start to any relationship.

Anyways, all that to say that I don't just poke my head into the OT for funsies. So Jesus knew he had to be fairly clear with me if he wanted me to go there. So hesitantly I forced myself to read through the story of Joshua, and I did pretty good, for like... a week. Then I got bored because, well it was old testament and that's just kinda what I do. Sorry if your offended. But don't worry, I started back up again. It's only taken a little over a month and I'm on chapter 3 now, your welcome.

Here's what I've noticed, Joshua  is all about watching, waiting, praying, preparing, and consecrating.

Check it out.

"Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things" Joshua 3:5

For those of you who are like me and think consecrate sounds like a cool enough word, but you're not quite sure what it means; don't worry. We've got dictionary.com for that and here is what it says consecrate means.

consecrate

verb (used with object), consecrated, consecrating.

1.

to make or declare sacred; set apart or dedicate to the service of a deity:

to consecrate a new church building.

2.

to make (something) an object of honor or veneration; hallow:

a custom consecrated by time.

3.

to devote or dedicate to some purpose:

a life consecrated to science.

Okay, before I get into why exactly I think this is such a cool verse I'll give you some context. So at this point, Moses had died and the Israelite's had wandered aimlessly around in a dessert for 40 years.

For 40 years.

For 40 freaking years.

Forty. Like, as in the number. 

Ew.

Okay sorry, back to the whole context thing. So they had been promised this chunk of land which was supposed to have like a ton of milk and honey (I imagine it's like today's equivalent to Starbucks and pastries. So; while we are on my blog we'll pretend that the Lord promised the Israelites a land of caffeine and carbs. Because that's how my brain works) Anyways, so they got this promise and they waited 40 years, they've already had one leader die and now another one is like "Look guys all we have to do is cross this stupid river" Then they did, because they laid some stones down or something. (Again; OT is not my thing).


But that's not the cool part. Or maybe it is and I just don't understand it enough- who knows. But the part that stuck out to me is that Joshua wanted them to get ready because the Lord was going to do something amazing tomorrow.

Did you catch that? After 40 freaking years Joshua still had enough faith in God and his promises to be like "Hey- it's here. The Lords going to do something amazing tomorrow".

For the record- That would NOT be me. I'd be the one like "Uh Joshua? No offense, but you kinda sound crazy."

Anyways, Joshua knew that God was going to do something amazing, but he also knew that they needed to be prepared for it.

They had to consecrate themselves. They had to devote themselves to it. Another version says "Cleanse yourselves". In order to really experience all God had for them in the promise land, they had to get off their asses and do something.

So, that must mean that if I want to see God do amazing things in my life tomorrow, I gotta get off my ass (or butt if you don't have a potty mouth like me) today.

If I want God to heal me- I've got to get my mind and body ready to be healed.

If I want God to soften my heart- Then I've got to stop focusing on myself.

If I want God to fix my relationships- Then I've got to start loving them and praying for them and forgiving them.

If I want God to fulfill his promise of giving us children- Then I've got to.... well.. ya know.

Ahem, anyways I think you get the picture.

My point is this: God's going to do amazing things tomorrow, but you've got to act like it today.

Being insecure, falling off cliffs, and the real Light.

Hi, I'm insecure. Nice to meet you.

I generally tend to think that 90% of girls are insecure so I've never really seen this as an issue. But I still think about it often. By the way, a good way to tell if you're insecure or not is if your insecure about being insecure. Because ya know, that makes a ton of sense.

Anyways, so then I started thinking about it and analyzing it and most likely over thinking and over analyzing this whole insecurity issue one day and I realized what my problem is.

I focus on my weaknesses, more than I focus on His strength.

Here's what I mean by that. When I am praying I say things like "God I have this problem. I just don't know what to do. I mean I should probably know what to do by now, I've been a Christian long enough. But I don't. I'm probably just not forgiving enough. That's gotta be it. Sorry Jesus for ya know, sucking. I don't mean to, really. Could you make me more like you and um, less like me? That'd be great. Okay,  Amen."

When you first think about it, it sounds like a pretty normal prayer. I confessed sin, repented and then gave it to Jesus.

But, the more I think about it, it's not all that normal. I mean the theology behind it is, but it just doesn't pan out in real life.

Think about it like this. You're running through a forest and you trip. You fall off a cliff but luckily there's a nice branch there that you're able to grab and hold onto. You're able to hold on, but not quite strong enough to pull yourself back up. You see someone walking by. Do you say, "Hey, I'm really sorry but I am just so clumsy! I was running and I wasn't watching where I was going and then I fell. Ugh, that is just SOO like me. Anyways, My arms hurt and my muscles are starting to cramp. I'm tired and sore and sorta thirsty and..." 

Umm, No.

You'd say "HEY! EXCUSE ME...SIR? Can you PLEASE help me get off this stupid branch?"

Because that makes way more sense. They don't need to hear how you got down on that branch, they just need to know that you want them to pull you back up.

Okay, I know I'm rambling a little but I swear I have a point in all this. See the bible says it like this;

"This is the message we have heard from HIm and announce to you, that God is Light and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the Light as He is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin... 1 John 1:5-7

He is the light. The thing about light is that it's transparent. It brings a sense of clarity. Light has the ability to show you just how dirty something really is.

I'll never forget the first time I saw my favorite Italian restaurant in the day time with all of the lights on. When the candle light and warm fire glow were traded in for nice large florescent lights I could see that the floor was chipped, the furniture was old, the paint was peeling, ect. It was far from a "Taste of Tuscany" actually- it was kind of gross.

I think more often than not, especially if you grew up Christian we read that verse and others like it and tend to think that we are "walking in darkness" whenever we screw up. Or worse, we tend to think that we used to walk in darkness but now that we are Christians we never walk in darkness. But I'm learning that neither of those things are correct.

Because He is the Light, really the only time we walk in darkness is anytime that we are walking in our own strength, going our own way and not His.

So that must mean that I'm not "walking in darkness" anytime I feel insecure, I'm only walking in darkness when I focus more on my insecurities and weaknesses than on His strength.

Because darkness is not a behavior, it's an attitude. 

On behalf of Christians, I'd like to say I'm sorry.

I know, I know. I already wrote a holiday blog voicing all my frustrations about the war between "Happy Holidays" and "Merry Christmas". I also know that it's a bit overkill to have 2 holiday blogs posted before even the end of November. But as an avid lover of all things Christmas, I've noticed my usual holiday drive dampened a bit by thoughts of how us Christians have kinda given Christmas a bad name. I had a conversation with someone who told me quite frank that the thing she dreads most about Christmas is all the annoying Christians who think it's more about them than about God. I had to cringe a little when she said that, but I also had to take a little bit of ownership in it. I'm sure there are Christians who have indeed done just that, but regardless of their actions, I know their intent was to do something so much greater, but they just let themselves get in the way of it. So on behalf of all well intentioned, yet poor choice making Christians, I'd like to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that we will inevitably argue about stupid things like putting manger scenes on public property, and which phrase we think you should greet us with.

I'm sorry that we have decided that this whole month only belongs to our holiday. I'm sorry that we forget that you might have a holiday you're family celebrates this month as well.

I'm sorry that we've been so busy with our yard signs and bumper stickers and ugly sweaters that we've forgotten to tell you the reason why we get so worked up over something as silly as a simple shorthand phrase, or a nonchalant greeting.

I'm sorry about the irony of it all, because according to our own beliefs this is a time to come together. To be unified. To reflect on one of the most amazing feats in all of history. Instead of hammering down our picket signs, we should be telling you about the most incredible act of humility ever known to man. Instead of correcting your wording and merely saying that we know the "reason for the season" we should be making that reason so undeniably clear to you and telling you incredible stories of joy and hope. I'm sorry we forget to do that.

I'm talking about the incarnation. The "reason for the season" if you will. The word incarnation literally means "To make into flesh". The apostle John said it like this "In the beginning was the word, and the word became flesh" then goes on to say that "No one has ever seen God" but that Jesus has "made God known"

You might be thinking "So what?" But here's what that really means, if you want to know what God is like, just look at Jesus.

Jesus, the one who used what should have been a scandal as an opportunity to set both the oppressed, and the oppressors free.

Jesus, the guy who hung out with prostitutes, and criminals, and low-lifes.

Jesus, who broke the cultural rules and religious laws just to heal a hurting life.

Jesus, the one who loved the least of these.

Jesus, the one who bridged the gap between Jew and Gentiles.

Jesus, the one who treated women with love and gentleness and respect.

Jesus, the one who knew that the future was in the hands of the children. And that we better make darn sure we love them, and love them well.

Jesus who loved.

Jesus who prayed.

Jesus who served.

Jesus who wept.

Jesus, the one who was willingly murdered so that you could break the chains of addiction, of shame, of guilt, of your past, of people who have wronged you and of those who you yourself have wronged.

Theologian Elton Trueblood said it like this "The historic Christian doctrine of the divinity of Christ does not simply mean that Jesus is like God, it is far more radical than that. It means that God, is like Jesus.

This must mean that God suffered. God wept. God loved the poor, and the sick, and the hungry, and the untouchable. God came to us. It means that God loved us so much, that he gave us his words. Then when words weren't enough He took on flesh and became the story.

He loved us enough, to be like us.

I don't know about you, but if I didn't already know Jesus, I'd be way more interested in that story than one of proper greetings and ugly sweaters. 

The Early Church and Fighting Like Siblings.

I’ve been a little okay, super frustrated lately.

I won’t go into detail really since most of my frustrations involve relationships with people that I love and respect mightily and it would absolutely break my heart if they misunderstood my frustrations. But, none-the-less I knew I had to address my frustrations somehow because other wise my flight instinct would kick in and before I knew it I would be somewhere lounging in a hammock in Colombia.

How do I know that? Well because the moment I realized I had to change something was when I started Googling the cost of living in Colombia immediately after mentally replaying all my relational frustrations and not being able to find a reasonable solution.

I knew I had to re-evaluate my plan of attack, because frankly though I've never personally visited, my friends make it sound like a fairly enjoyable place but I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't last 10 minutes in Colombia. My tendency to get sort of bitchy when the thermostat reads anything over 70 mixed with my very rational fear of anything that crawls or has more legs than necessary are both very important factors and definite deal breakers to the whole "Move to Colombia" thing.

Thinking about my frustrations further, now with the hope of fleeing to Colombia squashed, I suddenly realized that Christians live under a fanciful notion that no one in the early church ever disagreed with another. I’m not picking on you, clearly my Google search history over the past couple of weeks would quickly suggest that I too live under the same fictional notion.

I often imagine the early apostles sitting in a circle cross legged, politely nibbling on communion bread, smiling and nodding as they discussed how to apply the teachings and stories of Jesus to their own lives. It's a pretty picture however I have no idea where it came from, because it certainly didn't originate from the epistles. No, the epistles would strongly suggest quite the opposite. They would tell us that anytime you take a large group of people from different ethnic, religious and socio-economic backgrounds, there is always going to be a bit of friction, maybe some frustration, and yes- even hurt feelings.

If there wasn't then I don’t think Paul would have ever had to urge the church in Ephesus to “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” Then follow up on that statement with acknowledging that the church was made up of “Apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

So, basically what Paul was saying was that we’re not there yet. We’re still growing, and anytime there’s growth there is inevitably going to be growing pains. But instead of addressing the growing pains he simply urged them to love one another through the growing pains, because “then we will no longer be infants.. Instead speaking the truth in love we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does it’s work."

I think Paul was onto something when he was writing those letters. He must have known that unity is not synonymous with uniformity.He also probably knew that we would eventually find a way to confuse the two.

He knew we weren't called to agree; we were called to love.

We’re not called to never have any differences; we’re just called to love.

We're not called to never have hurt feelings or misunderstandings; we're called to love. 

We’re not even called to get along all the time; we’re only called to love. 

So maybe differences and frustrations within the church and within relationships are not necessarily a sign of decay, but rather of growth and maturity.

With all of this in mind I will make a stronger effort to better cling onto Romans 14:19 and 12:18 as a personal mantra and make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification and to live at peace with others as far as it depends on me. I will be devoted to the intentional act of respect and I will stop looking at these people who I love through the lens of frustration or of hurt feelings but rather through the eyes of Christ. I will remember that we are in every sense of the term brothers and sisters, which means we’re gonna annoy each other like them too, until the day of completion and that is perfectly fine.

I'm trading "Merry CHRISTmas" for "Happy Holidays", and you should too.

So, I was walking around our local Fred Meyers and much to my surprise, found myself in an aisle of twinkly lights, green garlands and fat little snowmen. You would think I would have been instantly filled with the “Christmas Spirit” and gone all buck wild buying every cute fake snow covered decoration in sight. Seeing how I myself was born on Christmas, and I have a genetic disposition to freak out over anything Christmas related. (If you never got the chance to meet my mother, let me help you understand that last sentence. For starters we had a sign above our door all year round that said “Every Day is Christmas Eve”. And every Thanksgiving we decorated more than we cooked. We wrapped every single picture in our house with jolly St. Nick and Christmas planning started around August.) Anyways, so given those statistics you would think I would be prancing around ringing jingle bells and throwing fake snowflakes at you when I saw Christmas in October.

I’ll admit, there was a little bit of jingle belling and fake snow throwing, but mostly I just was filled with dread.

I dread the “Keep Christ in Christmas” posts that are bound to fill my news feed.

I dread the bumper stickers, picket signs, and sweaters telling me that Jesus is the reason for the season.

I dread the war Christians will wage on those they believe are waging a war on Christmas.

I know I probably sound like quite the Scrooge right now but, hear me out.

Friends, let me reassure you that Jesus is not a wimp. He’s not sitting up in heaven with a blankey and a tissue because more people are saying “Happy Holidays” than “Merry Christmas”. He doesn't need to be defended. He needs to be preached. I have a hard time believing that Jesus is at all concerned with which particular phrase we choose to greet others with. I bet he’s a bit more concerned with the way His Name is being tossed around so flippantly, and albeit a tad hatefully.

I totally understand the deep seeded desire to make Jesus known. I’m not knocking your intention, I’m simply knocking your means. See, we can so easily distract ourselves with “Keeping Christ in Christmas” and making sure others know “He’s the reason for the season” and barking a punitive “Merry Christmas” to every “Happy Holiday” say-er that just happens to cross our path,  that we completely miss Jesus.

I think some of you have genuinely forgotten that there is more than one holiday in the month of December. There’s Hanukah, Kwanza, Festivus, Ashura, Yom Kippur and I’m sure a few others that I’m missing. But the point is that December is not solely designated as "Christmas Month", it’s a host to many different holidays, celebrated by many different people, in many different ways.

Also, I think we forget that Jesus wasn’t actually born on December 25th.  And if you go back and look at it our Christmas holiday origin is not a very Christian one. The trees, the lights, the stocking, the whole shebang; all has very pagan beginnings. But somewhere down the road we decided we would take it and make it our own, designating it as the day to celebrate the birth of our Savior. And to do so we would spend a destructive amount of money on superficial things, hang little lights on our roof and devour as many candy canes and cinnamon flavored beverages as possible. Because after all, Jesus is the reason for the season and nothing says Jesus quite like a candy cane.

I guess I can't speak for everyone, but personally I don’t love Jesus anymore this month than I do any other month. I don’t want to share him any more on the 24 days leading up to Christmas than I do the rest of the year. Because, honestly Jesus is the reason for all seasons. Not just the jingle bell and candy cane one.

Let me ask you a question. When the poor girl at Target who rings you up offers you a “Happy Holidays!” because that’s what her boss requires her to say, and you squak a gruff “It’s Merry CHRISTmas”. Are you trying to reach her heart for Jesus or are you trying to make a point? Because seriously? She knows now that you're a Christian, but what kind of Jesus are you really showing her? A loving one? A gentle one? A gracious one? I'm afraid if you didn't answer yes to any of those, then you're unfortunately not showing her the Jesus of the Bible.

So I'm going to say Happy Holidays to those that say it to me. Because I don’t want to make a point. I want to reach people for Jesus. I want to show them His love through patience, gentleness, kindness, forbearance and self control. I don’t want to be a defender of Christmas, I want to be an ambassador for Christ. I don’t want to be Jesus’ body guard, I just want to be his hands and feet.


So with that, Happy (early) Holidays my friends.

Why You Should Be More Like Martha.

Don’t get me wrong I could totally learn how to sit at the feet of Jesus more often. Actually come to think of it, it probably wouldn't hurt if I could learn to sit still more often in general. If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m a bit fidgety and I kind of have a short attention span. Oh well. Anyways, we all know that Martha has come to negatively represent the busyness and distractions of the world, while Mary is praised over and over for choosing the “better thing.” I don’t need to tell you that we should all be more like Mary and less like Martha in that manner. If you've been a Christian for any significant amount of time you've already heard a hundred sermons telling you the same thing. And while they are not necessarily wrong in their theology, I mean it certainly isn't a bad thing to want to be content and still before God. I still can’t help but feel bad for Martha, she’s kind of gotten a bad rap in it all.

Those sermons come from this popular passage in Luke 10.

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. And she had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lords feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Then tell her to help me” But the Lord answered her “Martha, Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary Mary Has chosen the good portion and it shall not be taken away from her” Luke 10:38-42 [Emphasis added]

Think about it for a minute. Do you really think it was a cultural norm for a woman to take a break from her hostessing duties, and not only directly address the Guest of Honor but also insist that he have a word with one of the households family members about their behavior? (Not to mention the fact that she clearly said loud enough for at least one witness to hear it well enough to write a story about it.) I’m going to say no, it wasn't.

Here’s what tends to get misunderstood about my pal Martha. She’s a strong woman. Not a rebellious one.

She welcomes Jesus into her home, addresses him directly and rather candidly, with out fear of reproach and then get this, He answers her with love, and respect not with rebuke.

Put that in your “women should be silent" pipe and smoke it.

(Relax, it's a joke.)

The story in Luke 10 wasn't even like a one time slip up for Martha. Later on when her brother, Lazarus dies we are told she gets up, leaves her home and all those who came to mourn only to track Jesus down and confront him with these words "Lord, if you would have been here my brother would not have died. Even now I know that whatever you ask from God will be given to you." (John 11:21)

If you ask me, that is one of the most complete statements of faith in all the Gospels. And again, you see Martha stepping out and speaking up and Mary staying back. Yet neither of them are corrected for their response.

I think most people would probably be more like Mary in this situation. Quietly crying on the sidelines, completely undone by grief. I know I used to think that would be my reaction. But after reading this story again with a new found respect for Martha, I can‘t really deny that I see more of myself in the way she responds to tragedy. She was frustrated with Jesus’ delay, while struggling not only with the concept of resurrection but also with who she believed Jesus to be. Then we see her  hesitant to open a tomb because of the smell. Um, that has me written all over it. Doubt, Frustration and a strong disdain to anything smelly.

As much as I’d like to think that in response to hearing that Jesus is coming I would be somewhere patiently awaiting for him to come to me, I have to admit that realistically I’d be the one who marches out to see Him, especially if I had something to say to him.

Yes it’s true Martha is easily distracted with her work, and that’s not a trait any body longs for. However I don’t think she gets enough credit, if any for that matter, for her boldness to ignore the cultural norms and break the mold for gender expectations. So I will try to sit at the feet of Jesus more often, but I won’t totally neglect my inner Martha, because I’m actually quite fond of her.

Tug of War, Numbers, and Days with out Incident Counters.

“Your church is really into the numbers aren't they?”

This statement was made by a good friend of mine, who has the common problem a lot of people tend to have, she lacks a filter. She wasn't trying to sound judgmental, or rude, even though she did. To give her some credit, I don’t even think she realized it sounded rude until the end of our conversation.

To go back to what sparked that comment, I simply just told her that it was a good Sunday at our church, we had 10 people publicly give their life to Christ, about 5 others that made the same decision, but chose not to come up front. I told her that I had about 6 visitors come to get coffee from me, and 2 people asked me about baptism.

Note to self: Apparently when people ask “How’s church going?” it’s the Christian equivalent to “What‘s up” and your supposed to respond with something as surface level as possible.  

“Hmm, I guess so!”  I wasn't trying to avoid the conversation. Really I wasn't, I simply was hoping she would hear the “I-just-want-to-get-my-pumpkin-spice-latte-with-out-any-offenses-caused” tone in my voice. Alas, no such luck. Apparently filter malfunctions also come with a glitch in the “tone-reader.” Good to know.

“Why is that?”

My hopes for an offense free Starbucks run was quickly squashed with that question. I guess I could have given some simple hard-to-argue with answer like “I don’t know, just is”. But I could tell that this was more than small talk, she was genuinely curious about why I would spend any energy counting visitor cards and bodies.

“It's pretty simple, we count people because people count”- (Not to put words in His mouth, but that had to be The Lord- I am not that smooth)

“Oh I just don’t really see it in scripture or anything, but I guess everyone has their own convictions right?”

Now, here is where you should be proud of me. I desperately wanted to ask her if she’s even read scripture when it hasn't been spoon fed to her from the pulpit. But I mustered up enough grace to leave that little comment out. Oh wait, I guess that would be Jesus too huh? Either way, I was able to quote several places where Jesus was in fact concerned with numbers.

I’ll save the dialogue, but basically reminded her of several times in the book of Acts where they counted how many were added to the number daily. Also, the story of the fish and the bread isn't called “Jesus fed a random large group” it’s titled (if your bible does that) Jesus feeds 5,000. Meaning, he knew there were 5,000.

I could probably ask Siri for a dozen more examples, but that’s all I was able to recall in the Starbucks waiting line.

Here’s the thing, I don’t really care if your church cares about numbers or not. I know I do, and I know newLife does- beyond that I really don't care. I wasn't irritated that she was challenging my church’s number philosophy. I didn't even care that she was challenging my own philosophy. I was bothered that it even mattered.

So many times, the conversations I have with other believers feels like an endless, childish game of tug of war. So many times the goal of the game isn't to simply stand still- it’s to gain ground. 

Every single time I have these conversations, it’s only after the rope breaks and we’re both flat on our butt that I can see the rope burns on my own hands. Our stupid flesh wants to constantly battle, our pride wants to know that we‘re right The flesh constantly is saying "Prove them wrong. Have a back bone!" While the spirit says “Be still. Be patient. Have some self-control.” 

I’m speaking to myself here, so often I want to prove my point, be heard, be understood, gain some freakin’ ground. But ask me how many times conversations like this end with me feeling like I've accomplished something? How many times has someone actually seen my point? Understood where I was coming from? How many times can I say God was glorified by our tugging? Um, none. Nope. Not even once. 

It’s not these pointless disagreements that bring believers closer together. It’s the times that I've sat down, guard down, heart opened, and really listened. It’s the conversations that didn't start with an offense, or a challenge, but instead started when someone showed a piece of themselves. A piece that they knew I could use against them, but they trusted me not to. The conversations where the sole purpose, is to edify, encourage, strengthen, grow. Can these conversations sting? You bet! Not nearly as bad as a rope burn though.

So why in the world do I constantly find myself in the other? Why do I even bother with the unnecessary? I have no idea. Because it wasn't until I left the coffee shop, and was half way home before I regretted picking up that rope again. In the aftermath, it’s easy to see how silly it is to be defensive, it’s easy to see how ugly my heart was. Even though God gave me the grace to not verbalize my ugliness, doesn't mean it wasn't still there. 

God’s word makes it pretty clear, several times over, that He does not want us to play tug-of-war… 

Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry -James 1:19

Better is a person with patience than a warrior. One with self control than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them. Proverbs 29:20 

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification, do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. Romans 14:19-20 

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:16

So this is what I will aim for. To live at peace as long as it depends on me, to be patient, and slow to speak, to seek mutual edification. I won’t tear down the work of God for the sake of food, or numbers or anything else for that matter. If I fail,  when I fail, I will simply rest in the fact that his mercy is new every single morning. With that in mind, when another tug of war conversation creeps up, and I fall short once again, I will simply do as the Hulk would do and reset my “Days with out incident” counter back to 1 and start from scratch.

You might be a whore if.....

I know, it’s not nice to call people whores. Sorry bout that.

But have you ever read the book of Hosea? If you haven’t, I suggest you do. If you have, you’ve probably noticed what I noticed, that it kinda calls us all whores. Don’t believe me? Check it out

Hosea 1:2-3
When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord” So he went and took Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim and she conceived and bore him a son.

Next they have some kids and give them some rather unfortunate names and then,

The LORD said to me, Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins” So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley and I said to her “you must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore or belong to another man; so will I also be to you”- Hosea 3:1-3

Apparently romance and sweet talking wasn’t Hosea’s strong suit.

But more so than Hosea’s lack of swag, this is a beautiful symbol of the greatest of all unlikely marriages. Jesus and His Bride, the Church. 

Correct me if I'm wrong but if Hosea and Gomer are supposed to be a picture of Jesus and the church. Doesn’t that mean that we are playing the whore in the story?

If your offended by that then I’m guessing you don’t really know the definition of a whore. 

Whore (n): Person who is promiscuous; who pursues fulfillment from multiple sources.

See you might be sitting there like I was when I read this story justifying why that isn’t you. You don’t worship other gods. That’d be ridiculous. You know that Buddha & Allah are not actually God. For goodness’ sake you’re a Christian!

But just because you don’t spend time worshiping a well known god, doesn’t mean you don’t spend time worshiping your own gods. 

I know calling you a whore and an idol worshiper isn’t the best way to make friends. So I included a list of small gods of my own. While I can relate to these personally I think they are idols that tempt all Christians. 

1. Being Christian
That’s right. We’ve made an idol out of religion. We listen to our Christian radio, while wearing our Christian T-Shirts, driving our Christian car that has the Christian bumper sticker on it, going to our Christian pot-luck, to hang out with our Christian friends, thinking our Christian thoughts, drinking our Christian latte, Speaking our Christian-ese into our Christian Smart Phone…you get the picture. We’re more in pursuit of a label than a relationship. 

2. Being Good
Is it just me or does the term “Good Moral Christian” bother anyone else? We have consumed ourselves with being good, doing good, saying good, thinking good, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. Except when it’s all about us and our ability and our control. See morality says “Now that you’ve found Jesus, kindly step into this very neat, clean box”. But here’s the problem, nothing about the Christian faith is perfectly neat and clean cut. My Christian walk isn’t going to look like your Christian walk. Because everyone has their own messes to clean up. Morality presents the idea of conformity. Because it focus’s on our man made standard over His divine example.

3. Knowledge
Scripture is great isn’t it? It’s one of the many tools God gave us so that we could be intimate with him. I don’t know about you but I’m really glad we have scripture. I had this teacher in Bible college who I absolutely adored. Her first assignment was for us to describe what our Christian walk would look like if suddenly all the bibles in the entire world disappeared. The point was to help us realize that while head knowledge is great, it can’t compete with Heart knowledge. But so many Christians search the scriptures religiously to simply know more. Not understand more. They want to religiously study all scripture just to say that they have studied all scripture. To sound holier. To look more Christian. To have better “tweets”. Whatever it is, they don’t have the right heart attitude. I definitely believe that we gain heart knowledge by reading what God’s word says. But if we are selfishly reading God’s word to just know more, and not sharing more or doing more or praying more, then we’ve severely missed the point.

4. Ministry.
I’m so stinkin’ guilty of this one. I easily grade how Saved I am by how good whatever ministry I am doing is going. Of course there’s no “Check Points for Ministerial Success” worksheet in the bible so I just have to judge it up against my man made list of what success should look like. You know like, how much recognition I’m getting for it, how many people vocalize how much they appreciate my hard work, and how many times I do little things that get noticed. Does it sound super sinful yet? Cause it is. It easily becomes more about work and less about faith. There are sometimes that I get it right, and then I get super encouraged because I know that it’s not me who did that. Because if people are getting reached and Jesus is being shared then that’s gotta be Him, I’m not that smart. I’m actually dumb enough to try and work out of an empty useless cup rather than take a day off to go to the Source that can refill that cup. Because that’s just our stupid human fleshy logic. And unfortunately it makes us whores. Bummer.


So while calling someone a whore isn’t exactly the best way to promote a blog. It’s the best picture of our dirty, gross, human state that I can think of. 

Here’s the part of Hosea that really gets me. We’re taught by scripture that adultery is a “biblical ground” for divorce. We almost have come to expect it in Christian marriage. If one person commits adultery, then we comfort the other by telling them they have biblical grounds to forsake that vow. It’s totally true, according to Matthew 5:32 they do. But here’s something I think we forget to realize when throwing around that scripture, Jesus is supposed to be our perfect example for everything in this life. We are His bride (Ephesians 5:25) and we have committed adultery against Him, in the sense of idol worship. Yet, never once has Jesus thought about divorce. No, instead He has the complete opposite response to our unfaithfulness…

And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. I will abolish the bow, the sword and war from the land and I will make you lie down in safety. I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness and you shall know the Lord. Hosea 2:18-20


So let’s stop whorin' around. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I tried, really I did.) But seriously, let’s stop giving our money, and our attention, and our energy, and our praise to things that in the eternal scheme of things really don’t matter. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want it to be said of me that I have “Forgotten my first Love”.

Surrendering Sucks.

One gives freely, yet grows all the richer, 

another withholds what he should have given and 

only suffers want.

 Proverbs 11:24

Ever have a conversation with someone and nothing gets accomplished aside from feeling frustrated and exhausted? I know I certainly have. You can feel so defeated, like you just wasted so much precious time and breath. You walk away shaking your head, wishing you didn’t even open your mouth. Especially if the person you’re trying to talk to is as stubborn as me. 

This is exactly how I imagined God felt after sharing with me his 31 little pieces of “wisdom”.  Frustrated, exhausted and frankly, sorry He ever brought it up.

(Luckily God is way more gracious than my little human brain gives Him credit for.) 

Though none of it was exactly news to me. I’ve read these 31 books before. Except normally my sole purpose is to simply find a clever one liner that‘s tweet worthy. Other times it’s only to find the perfectly worded little saying, short and sweet enough to paint on a piece of wood. But as of late I’m trying to read through these catchy snippets of wisdom from a different perspective. As I do this I’m beginning to see that it’s not quite as cute and clever as I once thought. Not only that but it kind of thinks I’m a fool. A big fat stinky one, with a gold ring in my nose to be exact.

To top it off, it has to go and make things personal.

You see there’s this thing that I’ve kind of been holding on to. Okay, really holding on to. It’s as if I can see God holding out his hand for it and instead of just handing it over to Him, I slowly hide it behind my back, tighten my awkward grip, and walk backwards shaking my head. 

Did you just imagine a two year old with an illicit candy bar tucked into it‘s tiny fist? Because that’s kind of how I feel.

Now if I was reading these cleverly crafted words with my old perspective, I would have simply gotten out the checkbook, filled in the blanks, and checked it off my imaginary “Not a fool” list. But unfortunately taking this new approach to the scripture means I can’t just stop at the superficial.

Maybe Solomon was in fact just talking about money and gifts in this little aphorism. Maybe I’m reading way too much into it. 

Or could it be that the riches he’s talking about is the treasures we find when we completely surrender all of ourselves to Him, letting His plan for our life take precedence? Perhaps the wealth He’s referring to comes from the Peace that surpasses our understanding as we watch God take our small things and turn them into Kingdom things. Maybe it’s referring to the rich trophy of him saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant”. Maybe, just maybe, He just wants to be My reward.

So surrendering will always suck, but I'll wave that silly little white flag as many times as I have to if it means He gets the Glory. 

(Just in case I didn't get the picture the first time, this nice little song also decided to play first on my playlist)

Go and Sin no more.... or Not.

When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman where she was in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you? She said, “No one Lord” And Jesus said “I do not condemn you either. Go, and sin no more”- John 8:9-11

How’s that going for you? That whole “Go and sin no more” thing?

Cause for me, it’s not really going so good.

I still curse others with one breath and then praise God with the next. I still rebel against authority. I still talk a big game about reaching the lost, then go back to my safe little walls. I still complain about things God’s blessed me with. I still think others have it better. I still am way quicker to speak than I am to listen. I still eat food when I’m not hungry and buy clothes I don’t need. I still fall short. I still keep others at an arms length. I still doubt God’s goodness, and I still question His grace. I still demand to see the wounds in his hands before taking Him at His word. I gently step over the scattered stones laid down, forgiven and free. I go, but I don’t exactly “sin no more”.

Let’s go back a couple verses

“Teacher” they said to Him, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such a woman, so what do You say?” They asked this to trap him, in order that they might accuse him.- John 8:4-6

It’s easy to turn up my nose at these puritans, with their stones raised to this poor girl. I'd personally like to think that I’d have more grace and compassion than them. It’s easy to think I’d be standing behind Jesus as he drew in the sand. Arms crossed and hackles raised. Angered by their injustice and overwhelmed by their hardened hearts. As much as we love to criticize their motives, we also love to forget that they were simply doing the biblical thing.

“If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife- with the wife of his neighbor- both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death”- Leviticus 20:10

It’s really quite foolish of me to think that I’d have any more grace. I’m just as legalistic as them. I’m just better at hiding my stones. I can sit here and turn my nose up at their purity etiquette and moral codes all day long, but really they aren’t any different than the long list of “holiness rules & regulation” we’ve instilled in our own little world. Sure the Pharisees had rules about what they could and couldn’t wear, how they should wash their hands, when they should wash their hands, what they could and couldn’t eat, who they could and couldn’t touch. But we do the same thing when we assign a label to the girl who just walked in our church wearing too short of a skirt. We do the same thing when we place conditions on God’s grace, and rules on his mercy. We do the same exact thing when we claim to love Him, but then ignore His people. We’ve even made up our own codes for how to handle sin we’ve deemed more severe than our own. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know who’s worse; the Pharisee’s or the modern day Christian.

I can’t wait to get to heaven and ask Jesus what he drew in the sand that day.  I wonder if it was a list of the Pharisees sins, or maybe a cool “one-liner” about how the law was given through Moses, but Grace came through the carpenter.


“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her”

I wish I hated my own sins as much as I hate everybody else’s.

At first my theological ego was rubbed a little wrong when I read this verse "Go and Sin no more" Surely he didn't actually mean that. Surely He had to know that all he was doing was just setting the poor girl up for failure. But regardless of what I or any of my alter-ego's would like to believe, Jesus does in fact call us to be perfect. In Matthew 5:48 He says "Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect" So he really does want us to Go and Sin no more. But just because He calls us to it, doesn't mean we will disappoint Him when we fall short because we will indeed fall short.

I think my biggest issue with this story is the point of view from which we retell it from. We don’t tell it as the Pharisee’s would. We don’t tell it like the sinner who saw redemption first hand would. No. Out of all the people in this story, we’ve decided we’re most like Jesus. 

We’re not taking this story and celebrating our redemption. 

We’re not taking this story and second guessing our harsh verdicts.

All we’ve done is turn this story into a stone.

I think it’s a little obvious that we’ve completely missed the point.

All Things Considered

So before hitting the Blogosphere I kept a bunch of writings on an old computer. I thought it would be kind of fun to go back and post one of those old writings. It was probably a good idea in theory (I do have a lot of those) but then I came across a common problem as I was reading through them. I didn’t really agree with anything that I said in them. It didn’t even sound like something I’d say or think. 

This year has been a crazy year, we’ve changed churches, changed jobs, changed apartments, changed ministry goals, changed life goals, ultimately we’ve just changed. So naturally my writings and ideas have also changed. So I deleted all the old writings that I no longer agreed with. As I sat there deleting article after article I couldn’t help but think if in another year from now I’d be logging onto this Blog and deleting the posts on here I no longer agree with.

Then last night we had a great conversation with an amazing couple and we just were able to talk about life and ministry and all the things in between, and as we talked I was reminded of one of my favorite stories in the bible. It’s only recently became my favorite because I’ve noticed something about it that I’ve never quite caught before.

Acts 18:24-28
Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos. A native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man with a thorough knowledge of the scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquilla heard him, they invited him to their home and explained the way of God more adequately. When Apollos wanted to go to Achaia the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples there to welcome him. On arriving he was a great help to those who by grace had believed. For he vigorously refuted the Jews in public debate proving from the Scriptures that Jesus was the Christ.

So it says that Apollos only preached what he knew, until Priscilla and Aquilla came to him and explained the way of God more adequately. But check out what it doesn’t say. It doesn’t say that Priscilla and Aquilla then go on to call him a false teacher, or publicly humiliate him in front of those he just preached to. It also never says that Apollos was embarrassed, or hung his head in shame, or went back and retracted what he said when he preached. He had no reason to, because he didn’t mislead anyone, he didn’t twist scripture. He didn’t do anything wrong, he just simply had limited knowledge. 

I like this passage a lot because it reminds me that it as long as I’m doing my part and telling you what I know about scripture, and doing it with reverence to Him, I have no reason to go back and delete or edit what I’ve said. Something in the conversation with this couple really stuck out to me, we were talking about teaching the Word and that we can’t control how others take what we said. That not everyone is going to agree and most importantly that not everyone is going to hear what we‘re trying to get across. Our only responsibility is to rightly divide the word, teach the context accurately and give true application. Past that I can’t control what you take from it.

I think Apollos and his friends had it figured out. So I’ll keep writing even though some of you, maybe even myself given enough time, might disagree. You might even take what I say out of context and twist it. But that’s okay, I still won’t go back and delete any posts. See here’s the thing, I don’t write to impress you. I don’t do it so that you’ll compliment me. I don’t care about that. I care about encouraging others with my limited knowledge. So I‘ll do just that. But I won’t spoon feed you anything. Because for one, I am not your Mama, and 2. Chances are good if I do I’ll have to go back and make you regurgitate all the misguided crap I fed you, and trust me that won’t be fun for either of us. So I’ll do my part and make sure I am rightly presenting the Word, you do your part and read the scripture for yourself.

Like I said, the Christian life is a process, but I think we can make it easier on ourselves if we just agree to be in it together. As brothers and sisters. Walk alongside each other as our finite brains try to understand an infinite God. As we go build each other up, and if one falls, be the first one to help him. Because you see, iron will indeed sharpen iron, if you let it.

Balance Beam

 For those of you who attend newLife I think this is a perfect example of what Pastor Andy was saying about what you do in this life dictates what your destiny will be like in the next. Check it out.

Pinterest and the Perfect Christian Life

So, I have a confession.

I love Pinterest. You're shocked, I can tell. But I do. I love thinking that one of these days I will have a spotless pottery barn inspired home filled with furniture that I built all by myself using only items found at the dollar tree, oh and pallets of course... can’t forget pallets! I get excited thinking of all the inches I’ll shred with every kale and spinach filled diet I find. I think it’s a ton of fun to count up all the dollars we’ll save when I finally learn how to coupon my way to a freezer full of a years worth of supper all from my one time $100 dollar run to Costco. Like I said, I love Pinterest.

But, as the story goes, every rose has it’s thorns.

As I sat there pinning my little heart out this morning, I slowly found myself going on a tiny little guilt trip.

I don’t have a pottery barn inspired- anything. I don’t eat and breathe kale. I've used coupons once, and I did it wrong and made the clerk lady regret not taking the job at staples. She said that. I mean she said it with her glare, but still said it none the less. Oh and those freezer meals and thrifty run to Costco? Sorry, my freezer is way too full of Eggo waffles and ice cream to fit any of your 200 calorie frozen masterpieces. I don’t have a Costco card but the one time I borrowed my friends and went by myself- I spent 150 dollars, and we still somehow didn't have any groceries. We had tons of chocolate covered acai berries, and a beautiful dog bed that Sophie refuses to even pretend to like. Maybe a couple other snacks were thrown in there I’m sure, but no actual, real food. Certainly no kale. 

Do you think I pinned or instagrammed any of that? Nope. Let’s be honest I move the pile of folded laundry out from under the dog before snapping a picture of her for my fellow instagramming friends.  And if there is a filter that makes my couch look cleaner, you bet I'll use it. Can you "facetune" your couch? If you can I'll be all over that.

We only instagram and pin our success, not our failures.

It doesn't bother me so much as far as the social media world goes. I don’t really care how clean your house is, what you had for dinner, or how perfect that one DIY project turned out. Pin away my friends. But more often than not it doesn't stop there. We bring this perfectly staged instagrammed self to Church. 

Stay with me, because I do it too. But what if, just one time- when someone asks us how our week went- instead of saying “Oh, it was so blessed” we said “I have a ton of garbage this week I tried to carry it out myself but it‘s too stinky, too messy and too gross. I have no clue how I’m going to get myself together, I need your help.” 

I know it seems scary. Because if you went to a church like the one I went to, they gave you a formula for your testimony. You told about the valley (your past), the climb, (when you trusted Jesus) and then described your mountain top. (the victory and delivery over your past). And that’s where it ended. It was a good formula and helped me get through the first time telling my testimony in front of people. 

But what if you’re a Christian, and you’re still in the valley?

Maybe not still in the valley, because let’s be honest your first experience with a Love that conquers all, or the first time you finally understood how scandalous Grace is; you were on the top of the Mountain and never thought you could come down.

But, you do. Life’s stinkin’ hard. Even the Christian life. Storms will come and the wind from them will more than likely knock you on your butt.

I think one of the most important lessons I've learned as a Christian is that there are things about the valley that He can't teach you from the mountain top. Follow Him there anyways, because He will never leave you in the valley. He just wants to show you something down there. It will help you appreciate the mountain, I promise.

Oh, but we have convinced ourselves that it’s better to just play church with each other, and go about the day like everything is hunky dory. No, being real is hard so lets just all put on our “we've got this mask”, and proceed to pin the perfect Christian life. Let’s forget about true, genuine relationships. Let’s forget about all the people who feel defeated and hopeless week after week watching your cookie cutter Christian life fall perfectly into place, and by all means let’s just fake it. Then go home and pray to God that some how, some day, we make it.

I‘m sorry, but I’m sick and tired of it. I’m done. I don’t want to play church. I don’t want one more person going home from church feeling less than, I don’t want one more person feeling like they should just give up because they’ll never be that cookie cutter Christian. I certainly don’t want anyone to leave the church because they just can’t keep up with the fake facades. 

I’m not going to present Jesus like he’s a box of chocolates wrapped with a perfect little bow. I’m going to share hope, but I’m also going to share struggle. There is hope and victory in this Christian walk, but there is also heartbreak, valleys, sin, and struggle. I think more people would be drawn to a Jesus who suffered for us than a Jesus who never knew struggle. The bible doesn't just tell the story of Jesus being born, his perfect life, and then skip right to the victory of him defeating death. No, it also includes the part where he was battered and bruised. It tells us he was vulnerable. It says He wept. So, from now on, that’s the example I’m going to follow. I hope you’ll join me. 

Romans 5:3-5
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,  and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Did you catch that? Suffering leads to hope. And hope will not put us to shame.

So I got corrected... sorta.

Remember those few women I told you about who I feel are responsible for much of my Christian walk just by being awesome?  Well, apparently not only are they super awesome but they also tend to be right about things, and also don’t mind telling me when I’m wrong about things. Believe it or not, I really like that about them.

So a few other conversations have taken place over the last couple of weeks to really get me thinking about my “Calling”. I feel like my calling is my Christian equivalence to my college major-in that it continually changes.

A while ago I thought it was my “calling” to disciple teenage girls, to speak into their lives and stop insecurity in its tracks so that they never fall victim to the oppression and guilt of giving away too much of themselves, or worse.

But later I found out that that’s kind of everyone’s calling. It is just part of being an adult, you have to impart your wisdom on the youth and give them better tools than you were given so that they can go farther than you. It’s not a job for one person; Jesus was very specific on how he wants everyone to treat the children.

Then about a year ago, I thought it was my calling to go to Colombia. Maybe even move there. Be a “full time missionary” (another one of the many christian terms the church should stop using) and do awesome things for God and spend my day in the tropics showing orphans the love of Christ, maybe adopt one or two, or 15.

Yet again I learned that’s kind of everyone’s calling. Not so much Colombia but the loving orphans thing. Jesus was also specific about that- and I don’t know if you noticed but we have a couple orphans here. Not just America here, like Astoria here.

So usually this is where I’d sit down and reconsider what I wanted my calling to be. I’d probably choose something else that seemed fun and easy and also involved warmer weather. But instead, I was approached by several different people- all of who don’t know each other by the way- telling me what they thought I was supposed to do with my ability to string words together. I mean, each one differed slightly in the capacity of what they had in mind but they all had one thing in common; speaking.  Like, in front of people and stuff.

Um, excuse me while I go pee my pants.

So, I told my friend about this and voiced to her my insecurities. Although I didn’t phrase them like insecurities; no, more like facts. Cold hard evidence as to why I should never speak in front of people.

“I’m not good at speaking, not only am I not good at it but I don’t like it”

“There are other people who are WAY better at it; really they should be the ones up there. People would listen to them”

“I have no right to tell women who have YEARS on me anything bible related, they should be teaching me”

“What if someone asked me a question, like about the Old Testament? I’d look like an idiot!”

I personally thought I had quite the case against the whole me speaking thing. She, however respectfully disagreed.  (I bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?)

This is the“reader’s digest” of why she disagreed with my ever so persuasive facts.

 “Erin, remember when you came to me after Matt had proposed asking me all about marriage?”

I didn’t actually remember this conversation but she is pretty smart and good at being married so it sounded like something I would do.

“What if I told you not to marry Matt, and my reasons were:

You’re probably not very good at being married, somebody else might be better.

You might not like being married.

You have no right to get married! There are other couples out there who know way more about marriage- Let them get married!

Someone might ask you a question about marriage, and then you’d look like a real idiot!

Those would be pretty stupid reasons not to do it, wouldn’t they?”

Like I said, she’s pretty smart.

She went on to quote stories like that in Exodus 6 and Jeremiah 1. To remind me that bringing God glory is so much better than merely being good at something.

So did her little pep talk completely change my attitude? Not really.
Do I now feel an overwhelming urge to get up and talk to a bunch of people? Nope.

 But this is what I do know;

'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."---(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)