So I got corrected... sorta.

Remember those few women I told you about who I feel are responsible for much of my Christian walk just by being awesome?  Well, apparently not only are they super awesome but they also tend to be right about things, and also don’t mind telling me when I’m wrong about things. Believe it or not, I really like that about them.

So a few other conversations have taken place over the last couple of weeks to really get me thinking about my “Calling”. I feel like my calling is my Christian equivalence to my college major-in that it continually changes.

A while ago I thought it was my “calling” to disciple teenage girls, to speak into their lives and stop insecurity in its tracks so that they never fall victim to the oppression and guilt of giving away too much of themselves, or worse.

But later I found out that that’s kind of everyone’s calling. It is just part of being an adult, you have to impart your wisdom on the youth and give them better tools than you were given so that they can go farther than you. It’s not a job for one person; Jesus was very specific on how he wants everyone to treat the children.

Then about a year ago, I thought it was my calling to go to Colombia. Maybe even move there. Be a “full time missionary” (another one of the many christian terms the church should stop using) and do awesome things for God and spend my day in the tropics showing orphans the love of Christ, maybe adopt one or two, or 15.

Yet again I learned that’s kind of everyone’s calling. Not so much Colombia but the loving orphans thing. Jesus was also specific about that- and I don’t know if you noticed but we have a couple orphans here. Not just America here, like Astoria here.

So usually this is where I’d sit down and reconsider what I wanted my calling to be. I’d probably choose something else that seemed fun and easy and also involved warmer weather. But instead, I was approached by several different people- all of who don’t know each other by the way- telling me what they thought I was supposed to do with my ability to string words together. I mean, each one differed slightly in the capacity of what they had in mind but they all had one thing in common; speaking.  Like, in front of people and stuff.

Um, excuse me while I go pee my pants.

So, I told my friend about this and voiced to her my insecurities. Although I didn’t phrase them like insecurities; no, more like facts. Cold hard evidence as to why I should never speak in front of people.

“I’m not good at speaking, not only am I not good at it but I don’t like it”

“There are other people who are WAY better at it; really they should be the ones up there. People would listen to them”

“I have no right to tell women who have YEARS on me anything bible related, they should be teaching me”

“What if someone asked me a question, like about the Old Testament? I’d look like an idiot!”

I personally thought I had quite the case against the whole me speaking thing. She, however respectfully disagreed.  (I bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?)

This is the“reader’s digest” of why she disagreed with my ever so persuasive facts.

 “Erin, remember when you came to me after Matt had proposed asking me all about marriage?”

I didn’t actually remember this conversation but she is pretty smart and good at being married so it sounded like something I would do.

“What if I told you not to marry Matt, and my reasons were:

You’re probably not very good at being married, somebody else might be better.

You might not like being married.

You have no right to get married! There are other couples out there who know way more about marriage- Let them get married!

Someone might ask you a question about marriage, and then you’d look like a real idiot!

Those would be pretty stupid reasons not to do it, wouldn’t they?”

Like I said, she’s pretty smart.

She went on to quote stories like that in Exodus 6 and Jeremiah 1. To remind me that bringing God glory is so much better than merely being good at something.

So did her little pep talk completely change my attitude? Not really.
Do I now feel an overwhelming urge to get up and talk to a bunch of people? Nope.

 But this is what I do know;

'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."---(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)