Listen carefully.

“The only time you fail is the first time you stop trying”

I can’t tell you how many times I heard my mom say this to me.

I wished she was there to say it to me the other night. As I sat on my couch mindlessly scrolling facebook I came across a friend’s post that broke me. I took a risk and reached out to her. I told her about the series my church is going through all about overcoming overwhelming circumstances. I had already typed out directions to the church because I was so sure I had worded everything just right and she was going to be over joyed at the opportunity to hear someone speak encouragement in such a dark time in her life. Apparently, I was wrong. Obviously I hadn’t done such a great job because this was her response, “thanks, maybe I’ll think about visiting when I’m not so overwhelmed”

Okay, I complain that people don’t listen to me quite a bit but, seriously? I just told her that this was her ticket to not feeling overwhelmed. I gave her the opportunity to overcome being overwhelmed. When someone is sick do they say “Wow, I’m really sick.  I should go to the doctor when I’m feeling better”? No. They don’t, because that doesn’t make any sense.

I was frustrated. I started tearing myself apart. I’m just not good at talking to people about church, I probably should hold back because I don’t want people to think that my church is full of pushers. I’m really bad at wording things, I should have had Matt (who she doesn’t know by the way) talk to her. He is really good at that kind of stuff. I’m just going to mind my own business from now on.

I wanted to never reach out to someone hurting again. I wanted to protect myself from ever feeling rejected and ignored again so I decided that it must just not be my “gift”. I decided that I was going to let people who are really good at talking, do the talking. That if God wanted to say something to this person, he would have obviously used someone better.  

Then quieter than a whisper a thought popped into my head, it was quiet but it was clear. It said “That’s not My voice”.

It seems silly, but it was huge. It was a huge reminder.

It reminded me that like Paul, If I try to please man, I’m no servant of Christ.

It reminded me that Jesus also knows a little about rejection.

It also reminded me that, it’s not about me.

In that moment, in that still small voice, I found so much comfort. Actually I found more than comfort, I found freedom. I didn’t have to believe the lies the enemy tries over and over to convince me of. I didn’t have to listen to myself tear myself down. I just have to listen carefully for His voice .

After a couple moments of prayer, I couldn’t even hear the thoughts of failure. All I could hear were the truths that came from listening to His voice.

Later that night, I grieved over this person and what had been lost, but I also felt hopeful because I knew that God wasn’t done here. He wasn’t done with this person and their situation, and he wasn’t done with me. Rejection hurts, but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.