Being insecure, falling off cliffs, and the real Light.

Hi, I'm insecure. Nice to meet you.

I generally tend to think that 90% of girls are insecure so I've never really seen this as an issue. But I still think about it often. By the way, a good way to tell if you're insecure or not is if your insecure about being insecure. Because ya know, that makes a ton of sense.

Anyways, so then I started thinking about it and analyzing it and most likely over thinking and over analyzing this whole insecurity issue one day and I realized what my problem is.

I focus on my weaknesses, more than I focus on His strength.

Here's what I mean by that. When I am praying I say things like "God I have this problem. I just don't know what to do. I mean I should probably know what to do by now, I've been a Christian long enough. But I don't. I'm probably just not forgiving enough. That's gotta be it. Sorry Jesus for ya know, sucking. I don't mean to, really. Could you make me more like you and um, less like me? That'd be great. Okay,  Amen."

When you first think about it, it sounds like a pretty normal prayer. I confessed sin, repented and then gave it to Jesus.

But, the more I think about it, it's not all that normal. I mean the theology behind it is, but it just doesn't pan out in real life.

Think about it like this. You're running through a forest and you trip. You fall off a cliff but luckily there's a nice branch there that you're able to grab and hold onto. You're able to hold on, but not quite strong enough to pull yourself back up. You see someone walking by. Do you say, "Hey, I'm really sorry but I am just so clumsy! I was running and I wasn't watching where I was going and then I fell. Ugh, that is just SOO like me. Anyways, My arms hurt and my muscles are starting to cramp. I'm tired and sore and sorta thirsty and..." 

Umm, No.

You'd say "HEY! EXCUSE ME...SIR? Can you PLEASE help me get off this stupid branch?"

Because that makes way more sense. They don't need to hear how you got down on that branch, they just need to know that you want them to pull you back up.

Okay, I know I'm rambling a little but I swear I have a point in all this. See the bible says it like this;

"This is the message we have heard from HIm and announce to you, that God is Light and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the Light as He is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin... 1 John 1:5-7

He is the light. The thing about light is that it's transparent. It brings a sense of clarity. Light has the ability to show you just how dirty something really is.

I'll never forget the first time I saw my favorite Italian restaurant in the day time with all of the lights on. When the candle light and warm fire glow were traded in for nice large florescent lights I could see that the floor was chipped, the furniture was old, the paint was peeling, ect. It was far from a "Taste of Tuscany" actually- it was kind of gross.

I think more often than not, especially if you grew up Christian we read that verse and others like it and tend to think that we are "walking in darkness" whenever we screw up. Or worse, we tend to think that we used to walk in darkness but now that we are Christians we never walk in darkness. But I'm learning that neither of those things are correct.

Because He is the Light, really the only time we walk in darkness is anytime that we are walking in our own strength, going our own way and not His.

So that must mean that I'm not "walking in darkness" anytime I feel insecure, I'm only walking in darkness when I focus more on my insecurities and weaknesses than on His strength.

Because darkness is not a behavior, it's an attitude. 

On behalf of Christians, I'd like to say I'm sorry.

I know, I know. I already wrote a holiday blog voicing all my frustrations about the war between "Happy Holidays" and "Merry Christmas". I also know that it's a bit overkill to have 2 holiday blogs posted before even the end of November. But as an avid lover of all things Christmas, I've noticed my usual holiday drive dampened a bit by thoughts of how us Christians have kinda given Christmas a bad name. I had a conversation with someone who told me quite frank that the thing she dreads most about Christmas is all the annoying Christians who think it's more about them than about God. I had to cringe a little when she said that, but I also had to take a little bit of ownership in it. I'm sure there are Christians who have indeed done just that, but regardless of their actions, I know their intent was to do something so much greater, but they just let themselves get in the way of it. So on behalf of all well intentioned, yet poor choice making Christians, I'd like to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that we will inevitably argue about stupid things like putting manger scenes on public property, and which phrase we think you should greet us with.

I'm sorry that we have decided that this whole month only belongs to our holiday. I'm sorry that we forget that you might have a holiday you're family celebrates this month as well.

I'm sorry that we've been so busy with our yard signs and bumper stickers and ugly sweaters that we've forgotten to tell you the reason why we get so worked up over something as silly as a simple shorthand phrase, or a nonchalant greeting.

I'm sorry about the irony of it all, because according to our own beliefs this is a time to come together. To be unified. To reflect on one of the most amazing feats in all of history. Instead of hammering down our picket signs, we should be telling you about the most incredible act of humility ever known to man. Instead of correcting your wording and merely saying that we know the "reason for the season" we should be making that reason so undeniably clear to you and telling you incredible stories of joy and hope. I'm sorry we forget to do that.

I'm talking about the incarnation. The "reason for the season" if you will. The word incarnation literally means "To make into flesh". The apostle John said it like this "In the beginning was the word, and the word became flesh" then goes on to say that "No one has ever seen God" but that Jesus has "made God known"

You might be thinking "So what?" But here's what that really means, if you want to know what God is like, just look at Jesus.

Jesus, the one who used what should have been a scandal as an opportunity to set both the oppressed, and the oppressors free.

Jesus, the guy who hung out with prostitutes, and criminals, and low-lifes.

Jesus, who broke the cultural rules and religious laws just to heal a hurting life.

Jesus, the one who loved the least of these.

Jesus, the one who bridged the gap between Jew and Gentiles.

Jesus, the one who treated women with love and gentleness and respect.

Jesus, the one who knew that the future was in the hands of the children. And that we better make darn sure we love them, and love them well.

Jesus who loved.

Jesus who prayed.

Jesus who served.

Jesus who wept.

Jesus, the one who was willingly murdered so that you could break the chains of addiction, of shame, of guilt, of your past, of people who have wronged you and of those who you yourself have wronged.

Theologian Elton Trueblood said it like this "The historic Christian doctrine of the divinity of Christ does not simply mean that Jesus is like God, it is far more radical than that. It means that God, is like Jesus.

This must mean that God suffered. God wept. God loved the poor, and the sick, and the hungry, and the untouchable. God came to us. It means that God loved us so much, that he gave us his words. Then when words weren't enough He took on flesh and became the story.

He loved us enough, to be like us.

I don't know about you, but if I didn't already know Jesus, I'd be way more interested in that story than one of proper greetings and ugly sweaters.