I'm trading "Merry CHRISTmas" for "Happy Holidays", and you should too.

So, I was walking around our local Fred Meyers and much to my surprise, found myself in an aisle of twinkly lights, green garlands and fat little snowmen. You would think I would have been instantly filled with the “Christmas Spirit” and gone all buck wild buying every cute fake snow covered decoration in sight. Seeing how I myself was born on Christmas, and I have a genetic disposition to freak out over anything Christmas related. (If you never got the chance to meet my mother, let me help you understand that last sentence. For starters we had a sign above our door all year round that said “Every Day is Christmas Eve”. And every Thanksgiving we decorated more than we cooked. We wrapped every single picture in our house with jolly St. Nick and Christmas planning started around August.) Anyways, so given those statistics you would think I would be prancing around ringing jingle bells and throwing fake snowflakes at you when I saw Christmas in October.

I’ll admit, there was a little bit of jingle belling and fake snow throwing, but mostly I just was filled with dread.

I dread the “Keep Christ in Christmas” posts that are bound to fill my news feed.

I dread the bumper stickers, picket signs, and sweaters telling me that Jesus is the reason for the season.

I dread the war Christians will wage on those they believe are waging a war on Christmas.

I know I probably sound like quite the Scrooge right now but, hear me out.

Friends, let me reassure you that Jesus is not a wimp. He’s not sitting up in heaven with a blankey and a tissue because more people are saying “Happy Holidays” than “Merry Christmas”. He doesn't need to be defended. He needs to be preached. I have a hard time believing that Jesus is at all concerned with which particular phrase we choose to greet others with. I bet he’s a bit more concerned with the way His Name is being tossed around so flippantly, and albeit a tad hatefully.

I totally understand the deep seeded desire to make Jesus known. I’m not knocking your intention, I’m simply knocking your means. See, we can so easily distract ourselves with “Keeping Christ in Christmas” and making sure others know “He’s the reason for the season” and barking a punitive “Merry Christmas” to every “Happy Holiday” say-er that just happens to cross our path,  that we completely miss Jesus.

I think some of you have genuinely forgotten that there is more than one holiday in the month of December. There’s Hanukah, Kwanza, Festivus, Ashura, Yom Kippur and I’m sure a few others that I’m missing. But the point is that December is not solely designated as "Christmas Month", it’s a host to many different holidays, celebrated by many different people, in many different ways.

Also, I think we forget that Jesus wasn’t actually born on December 25th.  And if you go back and look at it our Christmas holiday origin is not a very Christian one. The trees, the lights, the stocking, the whole shebang; all has very pagan beginnings. But somewhere down the road we decided we would take it and make it our own, designating it as the day to celebrate the birth of our Savior. And to do so we would spend a destructive amount of money on superficial things, hang little lights on our roof and devour as many candy canes and cinnamon flavored beverages as possible. Because after all, Jesus is the reason for the season and nothing says Jesus quite like a candy cane.

I guess I can't speak for everyone, but personally I don’t love Jesus anymore this month than I do any other month. I don’t want to share him any more on the 24 days leading up to Christmas than I do the rest of the year. Because, honestly Jesus is the reason for all seasons. Not just the jingle bell and candy cane one.

Let me ask you a question. When the poor girl at Target who rings you up offers you a “Happy Holidays!” because that’s what her boss requires her to say, and you squak a gruff “It’s Merry CHRISTmas”. Are you trying to reach her heart for Jesus or are you trying to make a point? Because seriously? She knows now that you're a Christian, but what kind of Jesus are you really showing her? A loving one? A gentle one? A gracious one? I'm afraid if you didn't answer yes to any of those, then you're unfortunately not showing her the Jesus of the Bible.

So I'm going to say Happy Holidays to those that say it to me. Because I don’t want to make a point. I want to reach people for Jesus. I want to show them His love through patience, gentleness, kindness, forbearance and self control. I don’t want to be a defender of Christmas, I want to be an ambassador for Christ. I don’t want to be Jesus’ body guard, I just want to be his hands and feet.


So with that, Happy (early) Holidays my friends.

I'm not a "Sinner saved by grace"

Okay, we've all heard Christians say it and if we are honest we've probably said it ourselves once or twice "I'm just a sinner saved by grace". You've probably said it to your unbelieving friends to make it seem like you guys are the same, both sinners just one has found the redeeming love of Christ.

I'm sorry to be a bubble burster and probably a button pusher, but that is just not true.

I don't see the bible ever referring to followers of Christ as sinners, in the present tense. Actually it calls them something quite different. You've sinned, yes- but God doesn't call you a sinner. No, he calls you a saint.

I absolutely 100% believe that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. But I think it's an insult to the Cross to think that he died for us so that we could remain sinners.

Paul refers to himself as the foremost of all sinners, needing salvation that much more. Then in James it does talk about sinners, but it's specifically referring to people who have walked away from The Lord and are currently practicing and choosing sin.

So if Jesus Christ, the foundation and perfect example of this Christian walk, never calls those who love him "sinners" why should we?

One thing that seems to be an ever growing trend in Christian culture is to show false humility. As if that's somehow going to win people to Christ. Think about it; is it the humility of Christ that draws us to him or the power of Christ? I am not saying humility is a bad thing or even that we should overlook or downplay Christs humility; but honestly was it the idea of a helpless babe in a manger that won you over to Christianity? Or was it His power to not merely make bad people good but take it a step further and make dead people alive? What good does it do for the kingdom to cling to the exact identity the cross has redeemed you from?

I can't help but think that we desperately have this whole saint vs sinner thing confused, and here is proof;

"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin we have one who speaks to the father in our defense-- Jesus Christ" 1 John 2:1

Or how about this one;

"And having been set free from sin have become slaves to righteousness"- Romans 6:18

Think about that; let that trip you out for a minute.

Not only are we not called sinners but we have within us the power to never sin again.

Now by no means am I saying that Christians are perfect, or that we should be. But just by putting your trust in The One who has never sinned, you have been given access to that freedom. So by saying your a sinner saved by grace your completely depriving yourself of the power freely given to you.

I think Paul said it best "But if, in our endeavor to be justified in Christ, we too were found to be sinners, is Christ then a servant of sin? Certainly not!”- Galatians 2:17

Certainly not.

The "God will never give you more than you can handle" myth

By now you’ve probably learned that I have a pet peeve with Christian cliché’s and the ever annoying Christian-isms. If you haven’t learned that yet then keep following this blog, I promise I have a long list of them.

Like this one, “God will never give you more than you can handle”. I’m not sure when it became a “Christian cliché” for me. I also can’t remember when I realized that it wasn’t biblical; I mean it sounds scripture-y, right? I know that I have quoted this to a hurting friend, and even to God in prayer as if somehow reminding him of a promise he never made is going to work to my advantage.  

In the midst of the Robin Williams tragedy I’ve thought about this one a lot. I’m sure some well-meaning individual at some time in Robin’s life told him this. I’m sure it gave him hope for a moment, but then when reality hit again that he actually was given more than he could handle, all hope was lost.

Therein lays my problem with this quote. By saying God will never give us more than we can handle essentially what we are saying is that God will give us things we can handle in our own strength.

 What we should say is “God will never give us more than HE can handle.”

The verse commonly associated with this quote is in 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

The key word there is “temptation”. Not struggle. Not hardship. Not pain. Not suffering. Not loss. 

The other part of this scripture that seems to get looked over when it’s used to defend this quote is that God is the one who provides the way of escape. Our ability to not be overtaken by temptation depends on us finding and utilizing this exit door that HE provides.

I don’t want to believe the lie that there is some sort of glass ceiling on suffering. There isn’t, and we greatly diminish God’s power when we insist that there is. If choosing to not believe this lie means that I’m accepting that at some point God will allow me to go through such suffering that I feel buried under the weight of it with my only “way of escape” being His strength, then I'm okay with that.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. Instead, rejoice as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory” 1 Peter 4:12-13

As a follower of Christ, I'd much rather have an abundant life, than an easy one. The word says that we come to know Christ by sharing in his suffering. I’d much rather say that I intimately know Christ because I’ve suffered than say I’ve only had struggles that I could handle on my own. One brings forth growth while the other only brings pride.

The commonly misunderstood "Proverbs 31" woman and why I don't like her.

Today I want to talk about my two favorite people... Men and Women.

Originally when I started this blog, I solemnly swore to myself that I was to at all costs, avoid this topic to avoid controversy and ultimately avoid the possibility to have someone disagree with me publically on the World Wide Web. So what changed my mind you might ask? Who knows, maybe it’s the excessive amount of caffeine I’ve had today, or the confidence that’s been spoken into me lately, or maybe just a healthy mixture of the two. Either way, I’ve recently decided that I don’t care if you disagree. Actually, I welcome it.

I had a conversation with a woman the other day. This lady is bright, funny, beautiful, and recently found a genuine love for the Lord. She is a single mother of several grown children and is now discovering a new season of her life where she wants to re-enter the dating world.

She started talking about this man she is seeing and some of the flaws she is learning about him. Long story short, she basically thinks he is controlling, overbearing, slightly creepy, a tad stalker-ish, demeaning, and disrespectful of her and her ability to make her own choices. Sounds like a real winner. Then she made a comment about the struggle of wanting a “Godly-man” but isn’t into the whole “being submissive” thing. It’s just not her style. She joked that the “proverbs 31” wife died in the 50’s. Then she stated that God didn't create her to be "virtuous" he created her to be independent, strong-willed, loud and untamed. She had made it “too far on her own to be told what to do”.

I could spend a whole other post talking about this “Godly-Man” she’s found, who apparently is so godly that he doesn’t need to read the bible anymore, because he has every verse memorized and also doesn’t need a church body because he’s holy enough to only need time with Jesus. But for time, and frankly my blood pressures sake, I’ll just focus on her.

The sad truth is that this strong woman is going through life believing the identity the world has spoken over her instead of cultivating the true person God created her to be.

I asked her what she thought “being submissive” means, she said it’s being controlled. I asked her if she believed that women are to submit to their husbands. She said, yes, as long as he’s submitting to the Lord. That’s what scripture says, after all.

I looked up the verse she was referring to right there; Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord”. The amplified version actually says it better; “Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority in the same way YOU have placed YOURSELVES under the Lord's authority”

I’m not only supposed to submit to my husband IF he’s submitting to the Lord, because that’s not my judgment to make. If he leads our family against God’s will, that’s his problem. Not to sound harsh, but he is the one who has to answer for it. Obviously I’m not talking about blatant sin, if he tells me to go kill a guy for money…. I’m going to have to politely decline, and then probably call the police. I’m talking about in day to day situations where he is following what he believes to be God’s will for our family.

I then asked her if she thought the husband should lead the household. She said, “absolutely, if he’s better at it. But usually women are better at making decisions.”

It was obvious that she was oblivious. She was so caught up in the comfort of the lies she’s convinced herself of that she wasn’t going to hear any sound biblical correction. One thing I’m good at is knowing when to shut up. Actually, I take that back. I’m not very good at it at all so I usually just remain shut-up’ed. Either way you want to look at it, I quit casting my pearls before swine.

I want to share with you some of the ways my husband leads me, in hopes that if you have the unfortunate misunderstandings that this lady has that it can help you see that being lead isn’t “being controlled” and it’s actually not at all what the world will try to tell you it is.

He is undoubtedly, every time, without question the first to apologize, even if I was in the wrong. He is the first to seek reconciliation.

He has never once raised his voice to me.

He tells me, and then shows me, that our marriage is his number one ministry

He knows when to be firm with me without ever demeaning me, fathering me, or patronizing me.

He never speaks poorly of me.

He never speaks poorly of our marriage.

He never speaks poorly of marriage in general.

He attempts every single day to love me as Christ loves the church

He makes decisions with me and in prayer, not as some rogue agent.

He does not lead from a place of self-satisfaction or self-exaltation, but from a place of self-sacrifice.

He is almost always annoyingly patient and unbelievably kind.

He makes me feel safe and protected.

He never accuses me or brings up old wrongs.

He tells me he loves me again and again, and again, and again, and then again. (It's like he knows my love language is words of affirmation or something.)

He represents Christ’s love as best as he can and if he feels as though he’s fallen short he seeks forgiveness immediately.

I know it may sound like I’m bragging (and I might be a little bit) but I’m not at all saying my husband is perfect. Or that he makes perfect decisions every single time, because that's just not true. Okay, so the only times he really hasn’t made great decisions is the times he decided to let me make decisions, but that’s a different story. Anyways, he’s not perfect but he was created perfectly for me.

I want with everything that’s in me to break this feministic idea that women are weak if they are submissive, and that men are controlling if they take the lead.

Did you know that in Proverbs 31 where it talks about the “Virtuous wife, who can find?” The word “virtuous” that’s used there is actually the Hebrew word “Chayil” and that that particular verse is one of the only times it’s translated as “Virtuous”? Almost every other time it’s used it’s translated as Army (54 times) or Valor (37 times) or Might (21 times). In almost every other verse that it is used in it's associated with the strength one needs for battle. So this idea that women have to be weak, walked all over, church mice is not only annoying, it’s unbiblical.

Sure “Virtue” or “Moral Purity” as it’s defined, is important for character. But I think what the young Lemuel's mom is telling him to look for is a woman strong enough to go through all of life's battles with. What loving mother would tell her son to find a wife like the weak annoying doormat some well-meaning, but still incorrect, Christians created the “proverbs 31” wife to be?

I wasn’t able to change her mind; actually I wouldn’t really be surprised if she didn’t hear a word I said. I saw her eyes glaze over as soon as I pointed out what scripture actually says. Still, my prayer is that through the few words she might have heard of mine I planted a tiny seed of hope in her that she can still be this strong woman she is confident of AND still be deserving of a God inspired, Christ honoring, relationship.