Why You Should Be More Like Martha.

Don’t get me wrong I could totally learn how to sit at the feet of Jesus more often. Actually come to think of it, it probably wouldn't hurt if I could learn to sit still more often in general. If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m a bit fidgety and I kind of have a short attention span. Oh well. Anyways, we all know that Martha has come to negatively represent the busyness and distractions of the world, while Mary is praised over and over for choosing the “better thing.” I don’t need to tell you that we should all be more like Mary and less like Martha in that manner. If you've been a Christian for any significant amount of time you've already heard a hundred sermons telling you the same thing. And while they are not necessarily wrong in their theology, I mean it certainly isn't a bad thing to want to be content and still before God. I still can’t help but feel bad for Martha, she’s kind of gotten a bad rap in it all.

Those sermons come from this popular passage in Luke 10.

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. And she had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lords feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Then tell her to help me” But the Lord answered her “Martha, Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary Mary Has chosen the good portion and it shall not be taken away from her” Luke 10:38-42 [Emphasis added]

Think about it for a minute. Do you really think it was a cultural norm for a woman to take a break from her hostessing duties, and not only directly address the Guest of Honor but also insist that he have a word with one of the households family members about their behavior? (Not to mention the fact that she clearly said loud enough for at least one witness to hear it well enough to write a story about it.) I’m going to say no, it wasn't.

Here’s what tends to get misunderstood about my pal Martha. She’s a strong woman. Not a rebellious one.

She welcomes Jesus into her home, addresses him directly and rather candidly, with out fear of reproach and then get this, He answers her with love, and respect not with rebuke.

Put that in your “women should be silent" pipe and smoke it.

(Relax, it's a joke.)

The story in Luke 10 wasn't even like a one time slip up for Martha. Later on when her brother, Lazarus dies we are told she gets up, leaves her home and all those who came to mourn only to track Jesus down and confront him with these words "Lord, if you would have been here my brother would not have died. Even now I know that whatever you ask from God will be given to you." (John 11:21)

If you ask me, that is one of the most complete statements of faith in all the Gospels. And again, you see Martha stepping out and speaking up and Mary staying back. Yet neither of them are corrected for their response.

I think most people would probably be more like Mary in this situation. Quietly crying on the sidelines, completely undone by grief. I know I used to think that would be my reaction. But after reading this story again with a new found respect for Martha, I can‘t really deny that I see more of myself in the way she responds to tragedy. She was frustrated with Jesus’ delay, while struggling not only with the concept of resurrection but also with who she believed Jesus to be. Then we see her  hesitant to open a tomb because of the smell. Um, that has me written all over it. Doubt, Frustration and a strong disdain to anything smelly.

As much as I’d like to think that in response to hearing that Jesus is coming I would be somewhere patiently awaiting for him to come to me, I have to admit that realistically I’d be the one who marches out to see Him, especially if I had something to say to him.

Yes it’s true Martha is easily distracted with her work, and that’s not a trait any body longs for. However I don’t think she gets enough credit, if any for that matter, for her boldness to ignore the cultural norms and break the mold for gender expectations. So I will try to sit at the feet of Jesus more often, but I won’t totally neglect my inner Martha, because I’m actually quite fond of her.

You might be a whore if.....

I know, it’s not nice to call people whores. Sorry bout that.

But have you ever read the book of Hosea? If you haven’t, I suggest you do. If you have, you’ve probably noticed what I noticed, that it kinda calls us all whores. Don’t believe me? Check it out

Hosea 1:2-3
When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord” So he went and took Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim and she conceived and bore him a son.

Next they have some kids and give them some rather unfortunate names and then,

The LORD said to me, Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins” So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley and I said to her “you must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore or belong to another man; so will I also be to you”- Hosea 3:1-3

Apparently romance and sweet talking wasn’t Hosea’s strong suit.

But more so than Hosea’s lack of swag, this is a beautiful symbol of the greatest of all unlikely marriages. Jesus and His Bride, the Church. 

Correct me if I'm wrong but if Hosea and Gomer are supposed to be a picture of Jesus and the church. Doesn’t that mean that we are playing the whore in the story?

If your offended by that then I’m guessing you don’t really know the definition of a whore. 

Whore (n): Person who is promiscuous; who pursues fulfillment from multiple sources.

See you might be sitting there like I was when I read this story justifying why that isn’t you. You don’t worship other gods. That’d be ridiculous. You know that Buddha & Allah are not actually God. For goodness’ sake you’re a Christian!

But just because you don’t spend time worshiping a well known god, doesn’t mean you don’t spend time worshiping your own gods. 

I know calling you a whore and an idol worshiper isn’t the best way to make friends. So I included a list of small gods of my own. While I can relate to these personally I think they are idols that tempt all Christians. 

1. Being Christian
That’s right. We’ve made an idol out of religion. We listen to our Christian radio, while wearing our Christian T-Shirts, driving our Christian car that has the Christian bumper sticker on it, going to our Christian pot-luck, to hang out with our Christian friends, thinking our Christian thoughts, drinking our Christian latte, Speaking our Christian-ese into our Christian Smart Phone…you get the picture. We’re more in pursuit of a label than a relationship. 

2. Being Good
Is it just me or does the term “Good Moral Christian” bother anyone else? We have consumed ourselves with being good, doing good, saying good, thinking good, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. Except when it’s all about us and our ability and our control. See morality says “Now that you’ve found Jesus, kindly step into this very neat, clean box”. But here’s the problem, nothing about the Christian faith is perfectly neat and clean cut. My Christian walk isn’t going to look like your Christian walk. Because everyone has their own messes to clean up. Morality presents the idea of conformity. Because it focus’s on our man made standard over His divine example.

3. Knowledge
Scripture is great isn’t it? It’s one of the many tools God gave us so that we could be intimate with him. I don’t know about you but I’m really glad we have scripture. I had this teacher in Bible college who I absolutely adored. Her first assignment was for us to describe what our Christian walk would look like if suddenly all the bibles in the entire world disappeared. The point was to help us realize that while head knowledge is great, it can’t compete with Heart knowledge. But so many Christians search the scriptures religiously to simply know more. Not understand more. They want to religiously study all scripture just to say that they have studied all scripture. To sound holier. To look more Christian. To have better “tweets”. Whatever it is, they don’t have the right heart attitude. I definitely believe that we gain heart knowledge by reading what God’s word says. But if we are selfishly reading God’s word to just know more, and not sharing more or doing more or praying more, then we’ve severely missed the point.

4. Ministry.
I’m so stinkin’ guilty of this one. I easily grade how Saved I am by how good whatever ministry I am doing is going. Of course there’s no “Check Points for Ministerial Success” worksheet in the bible so I just have to judge it up against my man made list of what success should look like. You know like, how much recognition I’m getting for it, how many people vocalize how much they appreciate my hard work, and how many times I do little things that get noticed. Does it sound super sinful yet? Cause it is. It easily becomes more about work and less about faith. There are sometimes that I get it right, and then I get super encouraged because I know that it’s not me who did that. Because if people are getting reached and Jesus is being shared then that’s gotta be Him, I’m not that smart. I’m actually dumb enough to try and work out of an empty useless cup rather than take a day off to go to the Source that can refill that cup. Because that’s just our stupid human fleshy logic. And unfortunately it makes us whores. Bummer.


So while calling someone a whore isn’t exactly the best way to promote a blog. It’s the best picture of our dirty, gross, human state that I can think of. 

Here’s the part of Hosea that really gets me. We’re taught by scripture that adultery is a “biblical ground” for divorce. We almost have come to expect it in Christian marriage. If one person commits adultery, then we comfort the other by telling them they have biblical grounds to forsake that vow. It’s totally true, according to Matthew 5:32 they do. But here’s something I think we forget to realize when throwing around that scripture, Jesus is supposed to be our perfect example for everything in this life. We are His bride (Ephesians 5:25) and we have committed adultery against Him, in the sense of idol worship. Yet, never once has Jesus thought about divorce. No, instead He has the complete opposite response to our unfaithfulness…

And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. I will abolish the bow, the sword and war from the land and I will make you lie down in safety. I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness and you shall know the Lord. Hosea 2:18-20


So let’s stop whorin' around. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I tried, really I did.) But seriously, let’s stop giving our money, and our attention, and our energy, and our praise to things that in the eternal scheme of things really don’t matter. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want it to be said of me that I have “Forgotten my first Love”.

I Don't Like Jerks

Can I be really honest with you?

I've been a bit of a jerk lately.

You may not have noticed. People close to me may not have even noticed, but I know God noticed.

I know I've been a jerk lately because today I could tell my patience with my husband was out- yes out, not low, not running thin, it was non-existent, and he wasn't even awake yet. Poor guy.

So instead of risking saying something unkind to him and putting him in a foul mood before church where he had to go and try to serve and worship and minister and do life with other people -- I just left. I went to the church and tried to pray and worship and be holy. But I couldn't. I couldn't find the words to say or the songs that fit my mood so I just cried and then when I realized someone else (the pastor of all people) was in the church with me I quickly pulled myself together and distracted myself with my good friend "Pinny" (Pinterest). There is where I noticed the root of my jerkiness.

My friend pinned an adorable diaper bag on her "Coming Soon" board. Any normal human's response to this would be "Aww that's so cute!" Unfortunately, and much to my shame, that wasn't my reaction. I got really mad at her and started tearing apart the bag she chose and even tearing apart HER. Luckily she loves me and is rediculously holy and not only has forgiven me but also found my jerkiness hilarious. Because that's the kind of friends the Lord has blessed me with.

But in that moment it all made sense. I was being a jerk because with every baby announcement, every pink frilly dress and heaven knows with every "pin" I have created a diaper-bag sized gap between me and God.

I read an article called "10 ways to not be a jerk" a couple days ago before I had really noticed my jerkiness but I remember a quote in there that stuck out to me. The list more or less was the difference between humility and pride, and while most of the list convicted me one thing on there broke me.

"Proud people are concerned with the consequences of their sin; humble people are grieved over the root cause of their sin"

My jerkiness was because of my pride, which ultimately came out of my insecurities which came from my attitude towards God for not giving us a child even though we have tried and prayed and drank all the gross tea we could handle.

When I ran to the church and hid my hurting from not only my husband but also my church family, I was being more concerned with the fear of them seeing my jerkiness than I was with anyone seeing my brokenness. I was more focused on the fact that I had given all the energy I had to my idol instead of giving all my praise to God. 

So am I saying that I have now mastered the art of humility? No.
Am I saying that I will never be a jerk again? Definitely not.
But am I saying I've repented and God has not only forgiven me, but also comforted me in this? Absolutley.

The commonly misunderstood "Proverbs 31" woman and why I don't like her.

Today I want to talk about my two favorite people... Men and Women.

Originally when I started this blog, I solemnly swore to myself that I was to at all costs, avoid this topic to avoid controversy and ultimately avoid the possibility to have someone disagree with me publically on the World Wide Web. So what changed my mind you might ask? Who knows, maybe it’s the excessive amount of caffeine I’ve had today, or the confidence that’s been spoken into me lately, or maybe just a healthy mixture of the two. Either way, I’ve recently decided that I don’t care if you disagree. Actually, I welcome it.

I had a conversation with a woman the other day. This lady is bright, funny, beautiful, and recently found a genuine love for the Lord. She is a single mother of several grown children and is now discovering a new season of her life where she wants to re-enter the dating world.

She started talking about this man she is seeing and some of the flaws she is learning about him. Long story short, she basically thinks he is controlling, overbearing, slightly creepy, a tad stalker-ish, demeaning, and disrespectful of her and her ability to make her own choices. Sounds like a real winner. Then she made a comment about the struggle of wanting a “Godly-man” but isn’t into the whole “being submissive” thing. It’s just not her style. She joked that the “proverbs 31” wife died in the 50’s. Then she stated that God didn't create her to be "virtuous" he created her to be independent, strong-willed, loud and untamed. She had made it “too far on her own to be told what to do”.

I could spend a whole other post talking about this “Godly-Man” she’s found, who apparently is so godly that he doesn’t need to read the bible anymore, because he has every verse memorized and also doesn’t need a church body because he’s holy enough to only need time with Jesus. But for time, and frankly my blood pressures sake, I’ll just focus on her.

The sad truth is that this strong woman is going through life believing the identity the world has spoken over her instead of cultivating the true person God created her to be.

I asked her what she thought “being submissive” means, she said it’s being controlled. I asked her if she believed that women are to submit to their husbands. She said, yes, as long as he’s submitting to the Lord. That’s what scripture says, after all.

I looked up the verse she was referring to right there; Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord”. The amplified version actually says it better; “Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority in the same way YOU have placed YOURSELVES under the Lord's authority”

I’m not only supposed to submit to my husband IF he’s submitting to the Lord, because that’s not my judgment to make. If he leads our family against God’s will, that’s his problem. Not to sound harsh, but he is the one who has to answer for it. Obviously I’m not talking about blatant sin, if he tells me to go kill a guy for money…. I’m going to have to politely decline, and then probably call the police. I’m talking about in day to day situations where he is following what he believes to be God’s will for our family.

I then asked her if she thought the husband should lead the household. She said, “absolutely, if he’s better at it. But usually women are better at making decisions.”

It was obvious that she was oblivious. She was so caught up in the comfort of the lies she’s convinced herself of that she wasn’t going to hear any sound biblical correction. One thing I’m good at is knowing when to shut up. Actually, I take that back. I’m not very good at it at all so I usually just remain shut-up’ed. Either way you want to look at it, I quit casting my pearls before swine.

I want to share with you some of the ways my husband leads me, in hopes that if you have the unfortunate misunderstandings that this lady has that it can help you see that being lead isn’t “being controlled” and it’s actually not at all what the world will try to tell you it is.

He is undoubtedly, every time, without question the first to apologize, even if I was in the wrong. He is the first to seek reconciliation.

He has never once raised his voice to me.

He tells me, and then shows me, that our marriage is his number one ministry

He knows when to be firm with me without ever demeaning me, fathering me, or patronizing me.

He never speaks poorly of me.

He never speaks poorly of our marriage.

He never speaks poorly of marriage in general.

He attempts every single day to love me as Christ loves the church

He makes decisions with me and in prayer, not as some rogue agent.

He does not lead from a place of self-satisfaction or self-exaltation, but from a place of self-sacrifice.

He is almost always annoyingly patient and unbelievably kind.

He makes me feel safe and protected.

He never accuses me or brings up old wrongs.

He tells me he loves me again and again, and again, and again, and then again. (It's like he knows my love language is words of affirmation or something.)

He represents Christ’s love as best as he can and if he feels as though he’s fallen short he seeks forgiveness immediately.

I know it may sound like I’m bragging (and I might be a little bit) but I’m not at all saying my husband is perfect. Or that he makes perfect decisions every single time, because that's just not true. Okay, so the only times he really hasn’t made great decisions is the times he decided to let me make decisions, but that’s a different story. Anyways, he’s not perfect but he was created perfectly for me.

I want with everything that’s in me to break this feministic idea that women are weak if they are submissive, and that men are controlling if they take the lead.

Did you know that in Proverbs 31 where it talks about the “Virtuous wife, who can find?” The word “virtuous” that’s used there is actually the Hebrew word “Chayil” and that that particular verse is one of the only times it’s translated as “Virtuous”? Almost every other time it’s used it’s translated as Army (54 times) or Valor (37 times) or Might (21 times). In almost every other verse that it is used in it's associated with the strength one needs for battle. So this idea that women have to be weak, walked all over, church mice is not only annoying, it’s unbiblical.

Sure “Virtue” or “Moral Purity” as it’s defined, is important for character. But I think what the young Lemuel's mom is telling him to look for is a woman strong enough to go through all of life's battles with. What loving mother would tell her son to find a wife like the weak annoying doormat some well-meaning, but still incorrect, Christians created the “proverbs 31” wife to be?

I wasn’t able to change her mind; actually I wouldn’t really be surprised if she didn’t hear a word I said. I saw her eyes glaze over as soon as I pointed out what scripture actually says. Still, my prayer is that through the few words she might have heard of mine I planted a tiny seed of hope in her that she can still be this strong woman she is confident of AND still be deserving of a God inspired, Christ honoring, relationship.

Confessions of a Prodigal Daughter

If you’ve been in church any amount of time, you’ve probably heard the term “prodigal son”. Which of course is referring to the parable in Luke 15, where a son leaves his father, squanders his inheritance and then realizes where he’s gone wrong and comes back to be re-united with his family.

I like to do word studies. I like to take note of words that stick out to me and see where they come from and what they mean in other languages. I decided to do this with the word “prodigal” after reading the story in Luke 15 earlier this week.

Now the word “prodigal” isn’t actually used in scripture, but we know what we are referring to when we use it. We typically use it when talking about someone who was close with God, and then walked away, but now is back in church.

After looking up the real meaning of the word “prodigal” it hit me, I am a prodigal daughter.

Yes, I had a season where I was struggling to understand the Christian life and after being exposed to a rather legalistic side of Christianity I decided that it wasn’t for me and I tried to find anything else that would fit me better. That didn’t get me anywhere so by God’s grace, I came back to Him, reunited and restored with a better understanding of what it means to be one of His Children. But, there’s more to it than that.

Prodigal: [prod-i -guhl] ;Adj.
       1. Giving or yielding with wasteful extravagance
       2. Spending money or substance recklessly

 So you see it wasn’t my return to the Father that makes me a “prodigal daughter”. It’s the fact that I recklessly wasted His riches. I took the gifts He gave me and wasted them, for my own purposes. What he intended to be used to further His kingdom, I squandered on the world.

For example, He gave me hope, and I lost it.

He gave me wisdom, and I ignored it.

He gave me love, and I refused it.

He gave me miracles, and I didn’t believe them.

He gave me healing, and I questioned it.

That’s what makes me a prodigal daughter.

But here’s what I know, your past does not determine your future. What you have done does not determine what you will do and when you realize the past has no power, then your future is filled with freedom. The story of the prodigal son doesn’t end when he wastes the gift he had been given, it ends when he repents.

Listen carefully.

“The only time you fail is the first time you stop trying”

I can’t tell you how many times I heard my mom say this to me.

I wished she was there to say it to me the other night. As I sat on my couch mindlessly scrolling facebook I came across a friend’s post that broke me. I took a risk and reached out to her. I told her about the series my church is going through all about overcoming overwhelming circumstances. I had already typed out directions to the church because I was so sure I had worded everything just right and she was going to be over joyed at the opportunity to hear someone speak encouragement in such a dark time in her life. Apparently, I was wrong. Obviously I hadn’t done such a great job because this was her response, “thanks, maybe I’ll think about visiting when I’m not so overwhelmed”

Okay, I complain that people don’t listen to me quite a bit but, seriously? I just told her that this was her ticket to not feeling overwhelmed. I gave her the opportunity to overcome being overwhelmed. When someone is sick do they say “Wow, I’m really sick.  I should go to the doctor when I’m feeling better”? No. They don’t, because that doesn’t make any sense.

I was frustrated. I started tearing myself apart. I’m just not good at talking to people about church, I probably should hold back because I don’t want people to think that my church is full of pushers. I’m really bad at wording things, I should have had Matt (who she doesn’t know by the way) talk to her. He is really good at that kind of stuff. I’m just going to mind my own business from now on.

I wanted to never reach out to someone hurting again. I wanted to protect myself from ever feeling rejected and ignored again so I decided that it must just not be my “gift”. I decided that I was going to let people who are really good at talking, do the talking. That if God wanted to say something to this person, he would have obviously used someone better.  

Then quieter than a whisper a thought popped into my head, it was quiet but it was clear. It said “That’s not My voice”.

It seems silly, but it was huge. It was a huge reminder.

It reminded me that like Paul, If I try to please man, I’m no servant of Christ.

It reminded me that Jesus also knows a little about rejection.

It also reminded me that, it’s not about me.

In that moment, in that still small voice, I found so much comfort. Actually I found more than comfort, I found freedom. I didn’t have to believe the lies the enemy tries over and over to convince me of. I didn’t have to listen to myself tear myself down. I just have to listen carefully for His voice .

After a couple moments of prayer, I couldn’t even hear the thoughts of failure. All I could hear were the truths that came from listening to His voice.

Later that night, I grieved over this person and what had been lost, but I also felt hopeful because I knew that God wasn’t done here. He wasn’t done with this person and their situation, and he wasn’t done with me. Rejection hurts, but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

We have a problem.

 “Believe what you want. These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes and before ya know it, you depend on 'em.’”

Those who know me are shocked that I would start anything out with a movie quote. But this is a quote that’s always stuck with me. It’s from the movie “Shawshank redemption”. It’s a story of a man who spent so much time in prison that when he finally got out and lived in freedom, he took his own life because he only knew how to live in bondage. He was afraid of life outside the prison walls.

If fear can do that to a person, we've got a serious problem.

From the very beginning of the bible to the end, in minor tribulations and seemingly impossible crisis, God commands us “Do not fear”.

"Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward." (Genesis 15:1,)

The LORD said to Moses "Do not be afraid of him, for I have handed him over to you, with his whole army and his land…" (Numbers 21:34)

The LORD said to Joshua "Do not be afraid of them; I have given them into your hand. Not one of them will be able to withstand you." (Joshua 10:8)

Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." (Luke 8:50)

One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent." (Acts 18:9)

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last." (Revelation 1:17)

So not only is living in a prison of fear unhealthy, it’s sin.

I think the biggest problem Christians today have with fear is that we disguise it as wisdom. We tell ourselves that it’s normal to be reserved in relationships. It's okay to not be generous or to hold back from serving others because it’s what’s “best” for us in this particular season. We think by doing that we are acting in wisdom, but that's just not true.

When I hold back from being vulnerable and open in a relationship I may think I’m “guarding my heart” or doing what’s best for me but what I’m really saying is “God, I don’t trust that you can use my weaknesses to strengthen this friendship”

When I stop myself from giving above and beyond I might think I’m being careful and a good steward of my finances but what I’m really saying is “God, I think I have a better way to spend this”

When I refuse to serve God or others I might think I’m looking out for my well-being and using my energy wisely but what my actions are really saying is “God, the talents you’ve given me aren’t good enough to actually put to use”.

When I say “I’m afraid of large groups” or “I’m afraid of letting someone get too close” or “I’m afraid of admitting my weakness” God is saying, “But I didn’t put that on you”. (2 Timothy 2:17)

I’m not just talking to you, I’m talking to me. I’ve been one to live in a prison of fear and get comfortable and even depend on the false safety that prison offered. Have you ever tried to control your fears? It’s like trying to hold a ball under water, no matter how long you fight, no matter which angle you come from sooner or later that ball will pop back up.

Over time certain circumstances,situations and emotions have taught us to rely on our own “fear habits”. Fear habits can be any decision or thought that isn’t grounded in faith. For instance, the habit of not opening up to others, the habit of putting ourselves first, the habit of doubting people’s hearts and intentions. You get the idea.

The fact of the matter is that fear is a strong emotion, it’s a strong problem. But we must understand that we have a stronger God.

We can only overcome fear but cultivating a culture of faith.

I’m still learning how to do this myself, but I think the first step is to decide that you will no longer believe the lie that fear can keep you safe, and instead believe that faith can set you free.

Choosing to base our actions out of faith instead of fear isn't saying we will always be perfectly protected but it is saying we have a Perfect Protector.

Matters of the Heart, Matter

I have a confession.

I refer to a lot of verses as "Christian cliché". I will mentally roll my eyes at you when you quote these clichés to me. I will skim over them when reading my bible. I will virtually tune it out when I hear it because I know what your going to say, I've heard it 1000 times if not more.

This happened to me this morning.

We are going through a pretty intense series in my church all about over coming over whelming circumstances, like depression, anxiety, loneliness. It's only the second Sunday of the series and I've noticed I have a lot of "heart issues"

One of the major ones is the thought that I can't protect myself.  I lost my mom at the end of 2007 and I felt completely alone. That lead to me being in a severely abusive relationship for most of 2008. That abusive relationship taught me that I can't protect myself. I tried for months to protect myself but he won every time and eventually, I had to call in other people to protect me. Because I couldn't protect myself.

This causes me to freeze up when confronted. To over analyze every thing you say to me. And If your someone who matters to me, it's very easy to offend me and bring me to tears. Because I have learned, I can't stop you from hurting me.

I was trying to find a biblical way of over coming this issue and the first verse I was directed to was
Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart for from it flows the springs of life"

This is one of my "Christian cliché" verses. I tune it out, I roll my eyes at it, I skim over it. But today I had to look into it because it seems counter-productive. It just cant be true that this scripture is telling us to be self-defensive. Because that would lead us to keeping relationships shallow, holding everyone at an arms length, and not letting anyone really get to know our hearts. We know this isn't God's will for us. He wants us to bear each others burdens. To be loving and compassionate. To love others genuinely, which according to dictionary.com means "with all your heart". To serve and be of one body. So what does it really  mean to "guard your heart"?

When we refer to our "heart" in todays culture, we are not talking about the organ that pumps blood. We are referring to our emotions. But biblically speaking it has a much deeper definition.The Hebrew word for heart in Proverbs 4:23 is "lêbâb". It means "Inner Man". The totality of who we are. The words we speak flow out of our hearts (Matthew 12:34) The choices we make flow from our heart (John 1:12-13) And in salvation God takes our dead heart of stone, and gives us a new heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). So guarding our hearts is really just being mindful of our thoughts and actions.

There is another verse that talks about guarding our hearts, but it doesn't refer to us doing it. "And the Peace of God which transcends understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus"- Phillipians 4:7

So rather than us racking our brains trying to figure out how to protect ourselves, God has already provided that protection in his son Jesus.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.  Psalm 28:7

I guard my heart by trusting God with all of it. By allowing him to be my shield and my strength when I'm feeling vulnerable. And by doing that, I can trust that I will be perfectly protected by Him.