There's no half-way house here.

There’s a book I really want to read, but by the time I get slightly into it every time I’m too uncomfortable to continue reading. It’s a little hard to swallow.

It’s about following Jesus.

That’s it. It’s a “self-help” book if you will about how to follow Him, completely. It’s called “Follow Me” by David Platt; here’s a little excerpt from it to help you understand why it hits me where it hurts.

“…With good intentions and sincere desires to reach as many people as possible for Jesus, we have subtly and deceptively minimized the magnitude of what it means to follow him. We’ve replaced challenging words from Christ with trite phrases in the church. We’ve taken the lifeblood out of Christianity and put Kool-Aid in its place so that it tastes better to the crowds, and the consequences are catastrophic. Multitudes of men and women at this moment think that they are saved from their sins when they are not. Scores of people around the world culturally think that they are Christians when biblically they are not.”

Ouch.

Recently I met with a friend over coffee and she told me a funny story about her 3 charming little boys. She was telling them about the tough topic of Christians getting persecuted and the reality behind it. She told them of a country where these persecutors go door to door asking if you’re a Christian, if you say yes you lose your life.  She asked each one of her boys what they think they would do in the event that someone did this to them.

Samuel, the oldest responded “I’d confess to loving Jesus and let him shoot me; it’d be okay because I’d be with Jesus in heaven”

Benjamin, the middle boy firmly stated that he would knock that guy down, take his gun point it back at him and demand that he needs to love Jesus too.

Then, there’s Solomon. Solomon said he would tell the guy he didn’t love Jesus, but as the man turned to walk away he would say “I really love Jesus” under his breath.

It’s a pretty cute story but it really made me think. What would I do? For a moment I imagined myself being as courageous and hard core as Benjamin and winning the guy to Christ with my mad fighting skills. Then I remembered I’m 5’1 and have never actually learned any “take down” moves. Plus I’ve never held a gun so, there would be that complication. Maybe I’d be Samuel, I’d stand up for Christ and leave a legacy of faith. I would be known throughout our town for my boldness to proclaim Jesus and it would lead thousands to Him. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized…. I would be Solomon.

When I’m talking to my friends who don’t know Jesus and they briefly bring up religion, I usually just listen to their views, I might mention that I go to church but then as we walk away I whisper in my heart “I really love Jesus”.

When I see a friend falling away from the church and falling into sin I tell them I love them and I’m here for them. But I don’t quote the scriptures that they need to hear, I don’t offer to in that moment pray with them. I give them a quick hug and then as they walk away I comfort myself by reminding myself that “I really love Jesus”.

I can't say I have too many "Benjamin" type moments. I occasionally have "Samuel" moments in my life, but more often than not, my response  to God's call to follow Him is one out of fear and uncertainty.

I started this blog because I’m on a personal journey to fulfil the higher calling of Christianity. I realized a lack of motivation and honesty in my faith. I’ve subconsciously belittled salvation down to an intellectual assent. If I were to compare it to something, I would say I have been living in a half-way house. You know, those places you go to feel just safe enough before getting out on your own two feet. I’m not saying half-way houses are bad places, but there aren’t any in Christianity. We are called to leave our comfort zones, to leave what we our idea of safety and the work we think we should do in order to fulfill His work, and His Kingdom. We are called to surrender our own desires, our own securities for Him. There’s a song, called “Called Me Higher”. It's the reason my blog link is "called-me-higher" and it goes like this;

And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where You lead me Lord
Where You lead me
Where You lead me Lord

That is the ultimate cry of my heart. I want to go higher, and deeper and farther for Jesus. I want to follow him so closely that my only response to any situation is more like Samuels. It doesn’t matter what happens, what I lose, it only matters the He gains the glory.