This statement was made by a good friend of mine, who has the common problem a lot of people tend to have, she lacks a filter. She wasn't trying to sound judgmental, or rude, even though she did. To give her some credit, I don’t even think she realized it sounded rude until the end of our conversation.
To go back to what sparked that comment, I simply just told her that it was a good Sunday at our church, we had 10 people publicly give their life to Christ, about 5 others that made the same decision, but chose not to come up front. I told her that I had about 6 visitors come to get coffee from me, and 2 people asked me about baptism.
Note to self: Apparently when people ask “How’s church going?” it’s the Christian equivalent to “What‘s up” and your supposed to respond with something as surface level as possible.
“Hmm, I guess so!” I wasn't trying to avoid the conversation. Really I wasn't, I simply was hoping she would hear the “I-just-want-to-get-my-pumpkin-spice-latte-with-out-any-offenses-caused” tone in my voice. Alas, no such luck. Apparently filter malfunctions also come with a glitch in the “tone-reader.” Good to know.
“Why is that?”
My hopes for an offense free Starbucks run was quickly squashed with that question. I guess I could have given some simple hard-to-argue with answer like “I don’t know, just is”. But I could tell that this was more than small talk, she was genuinely curious about why I would spend any energy counting visitor cards and bodies.
“It's pretty simple, we count people because people count”- (Not to put words in His mouth, but that had to be The Lord- I am not that smooth)
“Oh I just don’t really see it in scripture or anything, but I guess everyone has their own convictions right?”
Now, here is where you should be proud of me. I desperately wanted to ask her if she’s even read scripture when it hasn't been spoon fed to her from the pulpit. But I mustered up enough grace to leave that little comment out. Oh wait, I guess that would be Jesus too huh? Either way, I was able to quote several places where Jesus was in fact concerned with numbers.
I’ll save the dialogue, but basically reminded her of several times in the book of Acts where they counted how many were added to the number daily. Also, the story of the fish and the bread isn't called “Jesus fed a random large group” it’s titled (if your bible does that) Jesus feeds 5,000. Meaning, he knew there were 5,000.
I could probably ask Siri for a dozen more examples, but that’s all I was able to recall in the Starbucks waiting line.
Here’s the thing, I don’t really care if your church cares about numbers or not. I know I do, and I know newLife does- beyond that I really don't care. I wasn't irritated that she was challenging my church’s number philosophy. I didn't even care that she was challenging my own philosophy. I was bothered that it even mattered.
So many times, the conversations I have with other believers feels like an endless, childish game of tug of war. So many times the goal of the game isn't to simply stand still- it’s to gain ground.
Every single time I have these conversations, it’s only after the rope breaks and we’re both flat on our butt that I can see the rope burns on my own hands. Our stupid flesh wants to constantly battle, our pride wants to know that we‘re right The flesh constantly is saying "Prove them wrong. Have a back bone!" While the spirit says “Be still. Be patient. Have some self-control.”
I’m speaking to myself here, so often I want to prove my point, be heard, be understood, gain some freakin’ ground. But ask me how many times conversations like this end with me feeling like I've accomplished something? How many times has someone actually seen my point? Understood where I was coming from? How many times can I say God was glorified by our tugging? Um, none. Nope. Not even once.
It’s not these pointless disagreements that bring believers closer together. It’s the times that I've sat down, guard down, heart opened, and really listened. It’s the conversations that didn't start with an offense, or a challenge, but instead started when someone showed a piece of themselves. A piece that they knew I could use against them, but they trusted me not to. The conversations where the sole purpose, is to edify, encourage, strengthen, grow. Can these conversations sting? You bet! Not nearly as bad as a rope burn though.
So why in the world do I constantly find myself in the other? Why do I even bother with the unnecessary? I have no idea. Because it wasn't until I left the coffee shop, and was half way home before I regretted picking up that rope again. In the aftermath, it’s easy to see how silly it is to be defensive, it’s easy to see how ugly my heart was. Even though God gave me the grace to not verbalize my ugliness, doesn't mean it wasn't still there.
God’s word makes it pretty clear, several times over, that He does not want us to play tug-of-war…
Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry -James 1:19
Better is a person with patience than a warrior. One with self control than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32
Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them. Proverbs 29:20
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification, do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. Romans 14:19-20
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:16
So this is what I will aim for. To live at peace as long as it depends on me, to be patient, and slow to speak, to seek mutual edification. I won’t tear down the work of God for the sake of food, or numbers or anything else for that matter.
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